Here’s To You…and Me

When someone gives you a compliment do you bask in the glory or downplay the remark?

I admit, when I was younger I eagerly accepted my compliments with bells, whistles and bows,¹ but as I grew older, I ate my share of humble pie and then I did the reverse.  After watching me play commendation dodge ball, one day my sister-in-law’s sister pulled me aside and said, “Just say thank you.”

If someone thinks we did an outstanding job, let’s bask in the glory. We need to ditch the attitude: “I’m not perfect enough” and give credit to ourselves and to the people who acknowledge us and our efforts. We all deserve compliments. And we deserve to take them. ~ PioneerThinking.com

So to Urban Panther, THANK YOU, for my first ever blogging award. I’ll hang it on my wall like it’s my first dollar.  You can read her kind words here. Thank you to those who have sent me emails behind the scene as well.

This award has to be passed on to 5 bloggers.  I planned to highlight Urban Panther’s blog in my Meet the Bloggers post, but she beat me to the punch.  If you haven’t read her blog, pounce on over for a hello, you won’t be disappointed.

This next blogger is one of the hardest working bloggers I know. In my mind, her initials are not just letters, but exclamation marks. Her blog is immortal because she can do things for people even when she’s 80, and beyond. For example: “I Got Hip Replacement Surgery…so you don’t have to.” Well we don’t wish that on JD, so hobble on over to her blog for a laugh. Be sure to read my favorite post at I Do Things.

This next blogger has an unusual, but comical, love affair with her Apple MAC, they recently starred in her home movie “So Happy Together.”  MHR is great writer who writes with emotion, humor, honesty and she’s the only blogger I know who can write a post called “Testing Comments” and her supportive readers show up in droves. Her blog is a fun to visit, she makes me think, smile and she can even get a salty discharge to flow from my eyes. This award goes to Momma Mia, Mea Culpa who probably has hundreds of them on her mantel already.

I also like this new blog I found, Debateur Debates.  Her blog is about “serious topics for serious readers”, topics for the brain. Worth a visit.

I didn’t highlight 5 bloggers because I ran out of typing paper. If you have a blog you want to share, maybe a new one, please leave a link in the comment section, I’ll get it out of spam, eventually. I promise.

EDIT: I overlooked my very first award for “story telling” from Sandy, so I’m adding it to this post.  Thanks Sandy, you’re the best.  Charge the oversight to my head and not my heart. Much appreciated. ♥ ♥ ♥

1. just cocky [↩]

Doggone, Grandma

When I moved to “Hysteria Lane”, I thought the neighborhood was going to be a peaceful one, anything had to be better than where I used to live. Loud music, police sirens, rowdy kids and barking dogs.

My previous neighbor had a dog that stayed outside everyday, sometimes even in the rain and it barked constantly. Several people complained about the dog to each other, but not to the owner. To do so was more of a dare than a “neighborly request.”

During one of my sleepless nights, I decided to write a letter to my former neighbor pretending to be a young child and mail it to them. I’m not ambidextrous, but for pleas and threats, I write with my left hand. The wording is not exact, but it read something like the letter¹ to the right.

Eventually not only did the barking stop, but the dog was gone too. I saw my neighbor days later and asked about the dog, (like I really cared, I was happy in my serenity now like state). He said he let the dog go because he didn’t have time to take care of it. Uh, okay?

I don’t think that’s the case with my current neighbor who lives behind me. She has a new dog, but this dog doesn’t stay outside and bark nearly as long as the other one.

I was looking out the window, watching filming the barking dog and up pulls a black car and out rolls grandma from the back seat. She’s happy to see her dog and his tail says he’s happy to see her too.

Darn, now what am I supposed to do! I can’t write granny a letter, what could I possibly say about her annoying barking dog.

“Keep FIDO quiet or you won’t be allowed into Bingo.”

“Your senior citizen discount is in jeopardy.”

“I’ll get you, my pretty and your little dog too.”

It wasn’t until I looked at the bench outside of her home that I realized that this is the same lady that used to walk around the neighborhood with her elderly husband, hand in hand. Gee, I haven’t seen him in a while and oh my word….that explains the dog. I’m thinking either that’s one heck of a make-up job or grandma knows how to keep the real witch quiet. I will leave this one alone.

EDIT:  I thought this story was interesting.

Dog photo by ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com

1. click to zoom [↩]

Is Your Subscriber Count Showing?

During one of my EC dropping sessions, I stumbled across a post that linked a website that allows you to ‘compare your feedburner subscriber numbers with others’.  Interesting!

I assumed if that information was not made public, it was for a reason.

When I started blogging I displayed my subscriber count¹ because that’s what I saw on other blogs. I watched it go from 4 to 7 and then back down to 4.

What happened was my first reaction.

As a newbie, it made me feel anxious and unsure of myself, watching the numbers fluctuate, as if somehow it dictated my existence and worth. Maybe it did at one time, numbers are performance indicators. Once I knew what I wanted on my blog, I removed my RSS readership count [and most badges] from my blog. Once in a while, I do check my subscriber count, but like my financial investments, I don’t want to see my portfolio every day.

Maybe displaying our readership is a gauge on how we’re doing as bloggers, maybe it’s a competition, maybe it encourages future subscribers, maybe it’s an ego thing, maybe it means nothing and we’re just darn happy and proud. Maybe I feel creeped out by what people can find out, maybe I’m just too chicken to publicly teeter on the emotional seesaw of “you suck” and “you the woman”.

Different strokes for different folks, but I’m curious…Is your RSS feed count showing?  If so why or why not?

Are you more likely to subscribe to a blog if their readership count is made public?

Photo of LL borrowed from www.mcm.net

1. now 26 [↩]

Traffic: Flaw in Design or Drivers?

It just so happened before I embarked on what should have been a 1.5 hour drive down the NJTP, that I received an email review from The New York Times of a book entitled Traffic.

Warning or Coincidence?

Let’s just say I sat on the Turnpike for so long, that twice I thought I was being followed until I realized that car behind me couldn’t get off the freeway either. ¹

I have my own theories on the ‘whys’ of traffic:

1. Merging
2. Failure to anticipate²

When I drive on the highway/freeway and I’m approaching merging traffic, if I’m in the slow lane,³ I move over to the middle lane to keep traffic moving. If I have to brake, so might the cars behind me.

Merging traffic is like double dutch, I drive in a way that allows people to jump in without stopping the flow. Same thing on the street. If I let one car turn left or right, even though I have the right of way, 10 cars can move on both sides again instead of holding up traffic.

I only got a blurb of the book, but Mr. Vanderbilt, the author of Traffic, says that traffic jams are not caused by flaws in road design, but by flaws in human nature. Rubber necking is caused by gawkers (people who slow down to look at accidents, dumped furniture or to dig out their cell phone to take a picture - “digi-necking”).

He also mentions in his book that because driving doesn’t command 100% of our attention, we feel comfortable multi-tasking: talking on the phone, eating, taking pictures and reading. The results? Accidents and traffic.

Okay, I admit, when I was sitting in first gear, I whipped out my camera. Maybe I learned to steer the wheel using my knees and it’s possible when traffic finally started moving, I glanced around for an explanation,⁴ but found none.

Who’s to blame? Road design or drivers? Here’s a video of Tom on the Today Show Video. I think my blog is about to crash.

1. Traffic births paranoia. [↩]
2. or care [↩]
3. which I usually am [↩]
4. bodies, ambulance, old couch [↩]

Are You Feeling Guilty Over Something?

Just out of curiosity, are you feeling guilty about something right now, if so, what is it?

You don’t have to confess your sins in the comment section.¹ I’m not referring to the guilt we might feel when we do something morally wrong, but just in every day life.

Here’s what I’m feeling guilty about right now:

• Spending too much time on the computer
• Not putting away the laundry and cleaning the fish tank
• Not doing a favor for someone when they asked

Bloggers. Do you feel guilty when you have not posted in days or you haven’t replied to your comments right away?

If you weren’t feeling guilty before you read this, are you feeling guilty now?

Parents. Do you feel guilty when you take “me” time instead of spending it with your kid(s). Do you feel guilty when you have to go to work or you miss the school play?

Spouses. Do you feel guilty if you spend more time with your online friends than you do with your spouse or does guilt make you feel responsible for their happiness?

You.  Do you feel guilty that you’re not working on your big project or a hobby?

Guilt is everywhere, but why do we feel it and what does it really accomplish? On her website over at SelfCreation.com, Jennifer listed four reasons on why she felt guilt:

1. To get herself to behave differently
2. She thought good people were supposed to feel guilty
3. To show others she was a good person

She said her most popular reason for guilt was to try to get herself to do something she thought she “should” be doing, or stop herself from doing something she didn’t think she “should” be doing.”

A lot of times we carry around imagined guilt, it’s only in our mind and serves no real purpose. Even now, I’m feeling guilty about this long post, but I want to share a personal experience before I go.

My daughter is not home this week and I probably won’t see her again until Friday and then she leaves for Maryland on Sunday. So I’m feeling guilty because we’re not together.

Yesterday I went out with some girlfriends and I got home earlier than I thought, so I said I would drive out to see my kid, read with her and get a hug, that I probably needed.

Well when I got to where she was, you would’ve thought I busted up her party. I didn’t get the reception I thought I deserved, it wasn’t a short drive either. ² It was then that I stopped feeling guilty about us being apart, obviously, she’s fine with it, why wasn’t I? My guilt didn’t make her any happier, it was self-serving, to make me feel better.

I gave her a kiss, said good night and left my guilt behind. I feel less stress and guilt now.  She called me this morning and said, “Hi Mom.” I said, “Who is this?” She didn’t get the joke, she answered me.³

Hey, the truth is not the only thing that will set you free!  Learn to let go.

Letting Go
To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
but to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

From “The Grace Awakening” by Chuck Swindoll

Photo by Zawaj.com

1. unless you want to [↩]
2. I thought I was super mom making that drive [↩]
3. I don’t think she’s mine, where’s her sense of humor? [↩]