Do Excuses Negate Responsibility?

I have a million of them, no not dollars, but excuses, especially when it comes to why I think I can’t do something. Some excuses are lame, some are funny and they are so easy to make up. In some ways, they had become my truth. I believed them.

Lately, I’ve been listening to myself and others talk and I’m learning that one thing I don’t like about excuses is that they negate a try. I hear this a lot, “I can’t save money because I don’t have any money to save.” Under some circumstances this is true, but the possibility of saving may never happen if we have already excused ourselves from trying.

Rationaliza
tion is the process of trying to hide shameful conduct from ourselves.

I’m working on not using an excuse as a reason for not trying.  They do nothing but keep me from doing something.

Yesterday I woke up an hour later than usual and I was like darn, I’m going to be late! Immediately my body shut down and I started dragging my butt.  Then I said, well let me at least try to make it.  I had to reduce time spent on a few things, but I made it.  No, not everything is preventable, but some things are worth a try. I had a problem with tardiness, but since putting forth an effort, I have not been late once.

Excuses? Kind or Harmful. What do you think?  Also, do you prefer someone tell you they don’t want to do something or do you prefer the “flowery” excuse?

Chuck Gallozzi of Personal-Development.com suggested that we discover solutions instead of inventing excuses by planting this Garden of Success:

First, plant 3 rows of peas;

Patience
Positive thinking
Persistence

Next, plant 3 rows of squash;

Squash excuses
Squash blame
Squash criticism

Then, plant 3 rows of lettuce;

Let us be responsible
Let us be trustworthy
Let us be ambitious

Finish, with 3 rows of turnip;

Turn up when needed
Turn up with a smile
Turn up with confidence

A Million Little Pieces

No matter what happens during my day, there is always that one thing that will break the camel’s back, send me into a deep abyss of failure and self-pity.  For me it’s being late.  I. Hate. Being. Late.

Lately I have been horrible about keeping a schedule, showing up on time and even completing a simple to-do list.  I need these things to function “properly”, that’s how my core or center is wired.

The core is my life and the packaging peanuts are distractions. I’ve been trying to work my core around my distractions, instead of my distractions around my core.  As a result, I’m either late for something or rushing to get there on time. I can’t do that anymore, it doesn’t work for me.  So, I’m in the process of trying to put me back together again, make a simple to-do list as well as a written schedule. For my sanity.

Control Freak? Possibly. OCD? Maybe.

How do you manage your priorities, stay productive and balanced?

Photo by ithinkdancan

EntreCard Therapy

For those who don’t know:  “Entrecard enables you to advertise your own Entrecard on any blog in the network. You pay for this advertising with Entrecard Credits, that you earn for free by networking (a.k.a. visiting blogs and dropping (via clicking) your card for other bloggers).”

I find bloggers either love EntreCard or they hate it. When I first signed up, I didn’t understand it, but most bloggers use EntreCard to: increase traffic to their blog(s), find other blogs or increase their Alexa ranking.

A while back, I commented on this blog¹ that it was just a matter of time before we needed Blogtherapists to sort out issues some of us face as bloggers. I played out a conversation in my head as a possibility of what might be discussed regarding EntreCard and blogging. Listen in….

Blogtherapist: So you have EntreCard on the brain, but you’re not obsessed?  Can you give me an example?

Blogger: Well, my inbox at work has the word “Drop” taped to the front of it.  As people drop things in, I respond by saying: Thanks, Go! Go!, Alright, Yeah, Wicked, Awesome.  I don’t think it’s obsessive, but people look at me funny.

Blogtherapist: I see and what do those sayings have to do with EntreCard.

Blogger: They’re messages that are equivalent to Thanks! and are shown at various numbers of drops per day.  The more I drop, the more I move up in “Thanks.”  It’s cool and I could use the encouragement because sometimes I can’t even find the widget I’m supposed to be clicking. I scroll up and down a blog, scanning every freaking banner, button and badge hoping one of them will peek-a-boo me the word “Drop”.  It feels like an online version of Where’s Waldo. Very frustrating.

Blogtherapist: Okay now tell me about this new toolbar you mentioned.

Blogger: Oh the Entrebar!  I like it because I can open multiple browser tabs for faster dropping.

Blogtherapist: That’s a good thing, no?

Blogger: Yes, but what bugs me is when bloggers add music to their blog and now I have these 10 tabs opened, I don’t know which one it is, I have to try to find the offender, turn off my own sound or click all of the tabs closed that I just opened.

Blogtherapist: I see and how does this make you feel?

Blogger: I feel annoyed and insulted because I have a radio. Maybe EntreCard can come up with a category for fast loading blogs, with widgets above the fold and no music in their network.

Blogtherapist: Well let me ask you this, do you want to end your relationship with EntreCard?

Blogger: [insert your answer here]

Back to the post. I happen to like EntreCard, not because of the dropping and traffic, but because I’m able to find some great blogs that I probably would not have otherwise found on my own.

I’ve read several complaints about EntreCard’s “hit and run” traffic, that people are only visiting blogs for the drop, and they don’t stick around.  This is where I get confused.  Once EntreCard brings you the traffic, isn’t it the bloggers job to get the reader to stay?

There are a gazillion blogs out there all screaming for attention and if you’re catering to drive by traffic, there is very little time for foreplay in posting.  You kind of have to get in there, state your business and pull out.  Perhaps a quicker and more effective technique may be needed to make them come again.

I don’t know how much of my traffic comes from EntreCard, but I can’t depend on it to do everything. I’m thinking I have to go out there and get some of the traffic myself.  Personally, I think the best way to build traffic and readership is by commenting on other blogs.  What about you?

Do you have a love/hate relationship with EntreCard?

Have you seen an increase of traffic since using them?

How do you build traffic to your blog?

Comic by By arthur.wneir
Caption by Me.

1. I think [↩]

If My Life Were A Movie

If your life were a movie right now, what celebrity would get the lead role and what type of movie would it be? A drama? Documentary? Comedy? Science Fiction? Action? Thriller?

If my life, right now, were a movie it would be a tragedy¹ and based on personality and comedic likeness, Ellen Degeneres would play me.  I know, I know, she’s not as tall as I am, but there’s make-up for that, otherwise, perfect match.  It would go something like this:

Synopsis: For the past 17 years of doing the 9 to 5 grind at less than fulfilling jobs, the frustrated and wanna-be writer, Valerie (played by Ellen Degeneres) decides to take the advice of friends and submit her work to several literary agents.  After many attempts, rejects, no response and one false hope, self-publishing seems like her only option, that is, before she is introduced to the world of blogging.

Soon Valerie finds herself swept up into Blogosphere with not just one, but five blogs.  Testing the waters at what comes naturally to her, she decides to write incognito as a wisecracking blogger and quickly gains the following of a small group of loyal readers who demand more.

Meanwhile, her real world is in jeopardy when D (played by Will Smith)² stumbles upon a blog that seems to be an open book of his life and demands to know the person behind the name.  Watch Valerie in this hysterical comedy go to any lengths as she tries to keep her two worlds from colliding and destroying the house that Jack built.

Now, it’s your turn, maybe you don’t have a synopsis right now, consider this a meme,³ but if your life were a movie, what celebrity would get the lead role? According to this site, Ellen isn’t even an option for me based on looks, click here to see my celebrity look-alikes.

I really have to upload some new pictures of myself.

Photo of movie reel by sillyjokes.co.uk

1. turned comedy [↩]
2. sorry Portia [↩]
3. or is it one already? [↩]

Butt-to-Gutt Ratio Gone Wild

Yep, I’m back in the gym. Why? Because my butt-to-gutt ratio is in fierce competition for body dominance, whoever expands the biggest is the winner. I’m gaining weight fast and it’s not even egg nog season yet.

I inhale and my butt pulls at my clothing, I exhale and my gutt snatches it back. These two body parts are fighting over coverage like my clothing is a blanket on a cold winter night.

This is so not comfortable and the gym is the only thing that might keep me on track, so I’ll go.

I went to the gym during my lunch hour, I wasn’t “feeling it” but I never feel good about going until after I’m done with my workout. I turned on the t.v., stuck my earbuds to my MP3 player in my ear and plopped my magazine¹  over the display panel on the elliptical machine.

I did a five minute warm up and I thought my first day back in the gym was going to be more difficult, this was nothing. I cranked up the resistance another notch and surprisingly I moved with ease. I checked myself out in the mirror and I can’t help it, I had to look in the trunk.

Mr. Whipple said, “Please Don’t Squeeze the Charmin”, he didn’t say nothing about my butt, so I reached around for a quick grab, just to assess the merchandise.  It’s about six rolls of Charmin back there and I only need four, this machine should help. My calves look decent, but my thighs look like a human storage container for cottage cheese.  I’ll work on that later, after I settle this dispute.

Photo by Itsvery.net

While I worked out, I also kept a watchful eye on my hair because, at a certain length, it does not do humidity and sweat. My hair goes into a gangsta lean like it’s too cool to be seen with the other side of my hair-do and just separates itself down the middle.   I don’t like hair spray but I had to use it, at least until I can get a hair cut.

I’m about 10 minutes into my workout and I’m not winded at all, a little unusual for a first day workout.  I even started encouraging myself with exercise affirmations “you better work girl” and “you’re in better shape than you thought“. I was moving so fast, I wanted to draw a stick figure on the wall behind me to pretend I was being chased. Yeah, try to catch me. Muahahahahaha.

Even though it was an easy workout, something else was wrong. I know I pushed that resistance button at least 3 times and I’m still standing.  I lift my magazine off the elliptical display and it said: To begin your workout, please press start.

****!

What was I doing for the last 10 minutes!  That’s why I didn’t feel tired, I wasn’t doing a vigorous workout, I was walking.  My legs aren’t strong, I’m stupid.

I pressed the start button and began my real workout.  Okay yeah, this feels different.  Fifteen minutes in and I’m singing another tune “you better get off this machine girl“,  “you’re not in as good of shape as you thought“.

I’m starting to perspire too, a few strands of hair fell into my face and I heard the door open and shut.  There goes my hair spray.  Actually it was a partner from the office, but my hair spray did quit on me and my hair now resembles a mop.  Great.

I put in an additional 10 minutes since I messed up my workout to make it an even 30.  I stopped the machine to get off and I can’t feel my legs.  I’m not sure if my feet are on the floor or not, but I’m moving.  I look like a drunk but without the benefit of alcohol on my breath or in my blood stream.  I still have on my headphones though, so to cover up my stagger, I pretend to dance out of the workout room.  I can walk, just not straight yet.

After waiting for my legs to stop trembling, I hit the showers and do more damage to my hair from the steam.  It’s wet: the scalp, the hair, like I just washed it.  No, I can’t blow dry at work, I have to call in a team of professionals for my hair, it’s not that simple or cooperative.

So I went back to work looking like I just ran a full marathon. I said if people stare at my hair too long, I plan to casually mention that I just came from working out, that should explain the damage, at least for today, tomorrow’s another day.

1. read this, great article [↩]