As Not Yet Seen On TV
If at first you don’t succeed try and try again, right? My first invention didn’t see the light of day because the concept of saving lives was a little bit too complex for the automobile industry.
Fuh get ‘em, I don’t need them. I have a new invention that I am marketing and it’s called The Multi-Plate.
The Multi-Plate is created when I reheat anything on a foam plate for over 60 seconds. My microwave is capable of soldering pasta to, and burning holes through, foam plates, but if you get the timing just right, it rewards you with The Multi-Plate.
Last night I reheated some rice for dinner, but I left it in a few seconds too long and this is what I pulled out. I said if I can lift the rice off the plate, I’m eating it. Turns out this is just the plate you need for eating rice. I got every grain off the plate, the rice curved nicely into the fold and laid on the fork.
Then my light bulb went off and I thought to myself: I could probably sell The Multi-Plate, do my own marketing and be in debt to no one but the sand man. I think I can melt about 1,000 Hefty Foam Plates in about an hour, so for a limited time only you can purchase your Multi-Plate here. Act Now! While supplies last.
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My name is Valerie aka Natural and I will be writing about whatever is on my mind. I love teaching, dialogue, sharing and making people laugh. I never know what I'll share here but this is me, Thinking Out Loud.
You’re funny Natural,
I used to heat things in the microwave in plastic and foam, until I read several articles that plastic and foam give off some type of toxins (or something). Now I just use glass.
Sorry, I’ll have to pass on your Multi-Plate…..unless you can create a glass version. I’m guessing that would be a little more expensive. Right?
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Interview With Lorelle VanFossen - Part 2 - Errors Bloggers Make
Where’s the Youtube infomercial?
Ricardo Buenos last blog post..Damn…it’s only Tuesday!
LOL, I almost bought it! WHY did you stop me? I love the story about the wife who reconciled with the hubby, LOL - where do you get this stuff?
Tondys last blog post..Trouble in Paradise!
LOL! Well, it’s very pretty - and it reminds me of the fruit bowls we used to make (sometimes in an accident involving radiators) with old vinyl LPs.
But I have to say, I’m with Barbara. Some plastics give off toxic fumes, so you have to be careful to use the right one for the right job. Some even give off cyanide compounds in the freezer! Yikes…
ha ha ha ha… ha ha
It’s *#@!%* good
It’s a *@%*#* classic
It’s funny… funny
It’s so good.
If I buy 1000 can I get them for half price?
Frank (Robin’s partner)s last blog post..A Magic Trick For Relationships
BARBARA, you mean I’m going to get sick? I have to use plastic plates on busy evenings. Oh no, didn’t think about toxins. I better slap a disclaimer on the bottom of the plate then. Hmmm, I need to go look that up. I don’t know how to bend glass, I bet you my microwave can do it. I’ve lost so many dinners in that darn thing.
RICARDO, I didn’t quite think of that, a YouTube infomercial? Will you been needing 10% of any royalties for giving me that idea?
TONDY, the plate is quite handy. If I shouldn’t eat off of it, then maybe I will just keep it in my car, use it as traction for when my car gets stuck in the snow. I burned my fingers on that darn plate…trauma = comedy. Ah yes, the lovely couple, forget therapy, show me what you can do with the Multi-Plate.
JAY, isn’t it pretty. A fruit bowl….sometimes in an accident involving radiators, ROFL. Funny. I still have about 12 vinyl LP and nothing to play them on. Maybe I should melt them and sell as limited edition Multi-Plates. Hmmm, which LP will be the first to die? I think I’ve suffered the maximum amount of brain damage allowable, but I will go look that up. Cheers.
HI FRANK, nice to meet you. Saw your photo on Robin’s blog yesterday. What the heck is wrong with me, I have to laugh at myself sometimes and the things I do. Half priced? Sure why not, I better take the money while the offer is on the table. PS, I accept PayVal only.
This is exactly why I use paper plates in my microwave. LOL… It will chew up and spit out all others.
Oh yeah, and I took you out drinking again tonight. I hope you feel good tomorrow! HA
XOOXOXOXOXOXO
Corrinas last blog post..I Will Choke You Out, Bitch.
I love plates that can double as hats and church fans. I’ll be ordering this, thank you so much for the information. That’s two great things I’ve found on your site Natural: the ceramic rooster (I can’t wait for it to arrive) and now these toxic plates!
Marelisas last blog post..Six Steps to Creating the Life You Really Want
you are just too hysterically funny! I swear you should be on Last Comic Standing. You would definitely be the winner! Actually, you should take your microwave and your plate and go on America’s Got Talent! Heck it would be much better than some of the other acts they have! You are talented! I also agree the plates would make lovely fruit bowls.
That’s MY Invention - get in line!!
You’re a hoot woman, keep making me laugh
You ARE funny!
Microwaves are a necessary evil.
Thanks for the laugh.
Vereds last blog post..Who Cares About Truth In Advertising? Sugar Can Help You Lose Weight! (Wordless Wednesday)
The “multi-plate” I like the way that sounds! It makes me think of a different platter of delicious food in each of the 4 crevices. Wonderful.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..The 7 Stages of Procrastination
Oh that is too funny. Seriously, you need to market this. Hey, have you seen the stuff on T.V. at 3 a.m.?! People buy stuff at 3 a.m., just because they are dopey with insomnia. I say go for it! I will flog it. I won’t BUY IT, but I will flog it.
Urban Panthers last blog post..Straight A’s for the Panther
*ROFL!* FYI, styrofoam of various kinds will survive better in the nuker if heated on a “defrost” or other, lower setting (than high.) Your multiplate might be a better money maker as art, however. Make up some symbolic BS story & charge $800/ea for them (or perhaps a whole set for a “mere” $50K. *wink wink*)
Lanas last blog post..Contest Semifinals; Your Vote Needed!
I’ll settle for my name & link to my blog in the credits. How about that? Lol :-p
Ricardo Buenos last blog post..Damn…it’s only Tuesday!
D**n I invented that years a go and didn’t know it….:)))))
also I discovered indoor fireworks when i put tin foil in the microwave..:))
I hate paper plates Corrina. I need a stack of 5 just to make sure food doesn’t leak through. lol. Maybe I should look for better paper plates, but they’re going in the garbage. You are too good to me, I enjoyed getting my drink on and let me know if we need to do a drive by on you know who. I got bricks and I’m sure that plate can be a boomerang. XO
MARELISA, it’s a multi-plate, the possibilities are limitless. The way you are ordering stuff, you makes me want to open a store and then close it just so you can shop in peace.
RMR, we are going to get in some kind of trouble the way we laugh all day long. Just imagine if you sat next to me! Hey if you want to order some fruit bowls for gift giving say the word. My microwave is beeping from the kitchen, telling me to “bring it.”
MAMAFLO, I’ve been melting plates for several months. Laughter = Endorphins
VERED, I haven’t used the microwave since last night. Well I don’t need to use a foam plate tonight. I have time to burn.
BAMBOO FOREST, hello. I see salsa in one corner, sour cream in another, cheese and guacamole with tortillas in the middle. It could work and it would be no-spill.
URBAN PANTHER, I’m sure I could get 1 insomniac to buy 600 of these plates at 3 in the morning.
LANA, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Why I keep melting plates when I already know, is the question. I don’t know how to work the microwave, I just know how to make it heat food. Making art out of the plates is a great idea, you paint right? How many would you like to order. It’s good for holding paint.
$800 each? Wow I could sell one and relocate.
RICARDO, how about a link on my blogroll and a shout out when I go on Ellen or Oprah to promote it. I don’t think Oprah allows shout-outs on her show though..so in her case, a dozen donuts.
ROBERT, I have to have the mind of an entrepreneur (a broke person looking for the next best thing since sliced bread) if I want to be a professional full-time homemaker. Leaving the house is overrated and I could use your indoor fireworks during the winter for heating.
Naturals last blog post..As Not Yet Seen On TV
LOL Valerie - When I first saw it, I thought you’d invented a new type of breast implant.
Cath Lawsons last blog post..Oops - I Sank A Business
I just about wet my pants when I read your “AD”.
That was “off the chain” excellent.
But, can you make that plate out of glass?
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..It’s Only Wednesday?
ROFL! At first I thought it was one of those things you put in your bra to give you a little bit of lift.
And the site for your multi-plate is too funny.
I considered grabbing a few since 6.99 for a 100 was an amazing deal, but then I remembered that my husband has a few Multi-plates sitting on the counter waiting for me to clean up.
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Hey CATH, I won’t tell anyone what they can use the multi-plate for. I think mine was stolen, I can’t find it. I was going to try out your suggestion. Oh well, I can melt another.
MELEAH, use #302 for the multi-plate: bed pan. I got you covered girl. It’s no leak, no drip, no spill ready. Glass? Not yet. The plate caters to the lazy in that when you get tired of it, you can just throw it away.
MONIQUE, LOL, you can put it in your bra if you like. You would get a few eyebrow raises, not sure how much of any other kind of lift you would get, unless I added straps to it. You guys are giving me some great ideas for this thing.
I think you might be on to something Natural! Or….just on something!
tee-hee!
Olga, the Traveling Bras last blog post..I Have A 50-Foot Fembot & I’m NOT Afraid To Use It!
hi! i like your blog. it makes me laugh. this multi-plate looks like it would be a good salad bowl. too bad though, heating foam is bad for you as it emits something which can be bad for your health if you eat in it. i avoid heating foams in the microwave, i usually transfer the food to microwaveable plates.
but at least the artistic talent is there, better to find other materials for an outlet.
I had to click the “buy” button just to see if you’re being serious.
Good one!
You should’ve ricky rolled people on that last page
I’ve said it before — pure genius !! Happy Weekend sandy
“The plate caters to the lazy in that when you get tired of it, you can just throw it away. ”
Got it! Now that makes sense. I am placing my order now!
xxoo
Ok, I just read that “order” page (how did I miss that before??) and laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. I tried to order them too. LMAO.
I think you need a less aggressive microwave.
Corrinas last blog post..Absolutely Fucking Insane
OLGA, I bet you there is a sweat shop some where being erected so that production can start on the glass version of these plates. LOL.
ENTREPGIRL, I think I better stay away from eating off and reheating those foam plates, huh? It does make for an interesting “something”. Thanks for stopping by.
J2R, I had a link to my PayVal account set up for ordering, but I said I don’t want to go through the trouble of giving money back or get IN trouble for taking a joke too far.
SANDY, thanks. You have a good one too.
MELEAH, I will put a stack aside just for you, but hurry up, they are flying off the shelves!
CORRINA, the order page is the funniest part. LOL. My microwave is on something, really.
That is hilarious, but I swear, I invented it first!!
The Fitness Divas last blog post..You Are Who You Hang With
Thanks Fitness Diva. Maybe you did invent it first, but you forgot to market it.
Hi Natural - that’s awesome how you got the celebrity testimonials. Isn’t Mike “Biteson” in jail or something? Thanks for introducing the much needed multi-plate!
Al at 7Ps last blog post..Jump Right In!
Oh, my gaw, this is funny! HA! When I first glanced at the picture, I really thought it was an actual product. It looks like one! I can’t tell you how annoyed I get having to use my thumbs to scoop up the last bite of rice.
Good stuff.
JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I Am Fat (and Disgusted) so you don’t have to be
ha ha ha. way to turn a negative into a positive, Natural! Love your blog. I just found you via entrecard and I’m subscribing today.
washwordss last blog post..Sharing the (birthday) love
Hi Al, thanks for stopping by. If Mike Biteson is not in jail, give him time. lol
JD, I don’t remember throwing it away, but I can’t find the darn thing. I know somebody is making a glass version of it and is using my foam plate as a mold. They will probably be in Wal-Mart by Christmas. I’m the only one with no manners who will use her thumb to fetch rice. lol
Washwords, thanks for visiting, leaving a comment and subscribing. I will check out your blog as well. I wish I could turn a negative into a profit. lol
Can’t melting plastic make you, like, die or something?
Other than that, looks great.
Yoga for Cynicsd, I think melting plastic burns your fingers, melting foam is more like an over zealous microwave. Thanks, I might have to look for some new plates, I don’t know what really happens when you melt foam, but I don’t think it’s good. Thanks for stopping by.