breaking up is hard to do
…especially when you find a hair stylist who understands that “cut” does not mean “butcher”.
anywho, i’m happy with my current hair stylist, but since we both moved, it’s no longer convenient1 for me to travel to her shop. i’ve been doing it myself2 because having someone else do my hair feels too much like cheating. call me crazy, no call me loyal. as if she would know.
however, one friday, the urge hit and i had to have my hair done now. i ran out of the house like i was late for an appointment, only i didn’t go to my regular salon, i went to where my SIL gets her hair done. maybe it was my job location but i’ve always gone to a dominican hair salon and this place was a dominican hair salon. great.
i walked in and asked for a perm, cut3 trim and a color rinse. i was told to have a seat and someone would be right with me. uh huh. right.
now in some dominican hair salons, your name is gender based. if you’re a female, your name is mommy, if you’re a male your name is poppy. after years of answering to Bah la rie, calling me mommy now is like taking two giant steps backwards in a game of mother may i.
while i wait on the next available stylist i pretend to read and then I hear it, “mommy come”. i know someone is talking to me because i’m the only one who doesn’t have a towel on their head. i’m so anxious to get started that i want to run and strap myself to the chair and say, “put it in” 4, but instead i do the “you talkin’ to me i’m so surprised hand on my chest gesture”.
i calmly walk over to my assigned station and about 25 minutes later i’m moved from the operating chair to the recovery area. the perm was a success, it just needs to be washed out. the shampoo girl preps me by stuffing towels around my collar and then she drapes a cape around me from the back, only the velcro doesn’t hold. so she tells me to do the job the velcro won’t and hold the two openings tightly around my neck.
like an obedient fool, i’m holding on to those two ends for dear life and a dry shirt, but i’m slightly gasping for air so i release my death grip and take a few breaths (when she wasn’t looking of course…i’m sure i said something about me being too old to be sneaking oxygen).
so as she’s washing my hair, i’m leaning back in the most uncomfortable position and i realize i’m doing all the work. she’s not even supporting my head and it’s heavy. (support the head, support the head). um, my neck gets enough exercise, but after wash no. 4 my head becomes a burden to my neck and i’m ready to drop it.
you want to know how difficult this is? david blaine won’t even attempt it. he might be able to hang upside down for 60 hours, but he cannot lean back in a salon chair and hold his head over a sink for 9 straight washes. endurance artist my foot!
9 washes? was my hair really that dirty? with each wash my message was the same: support the head, support the head. of course, she doesn’t understand english too well so i could have said night of the living dead and it wouldn’t have made a difference.
while she was scrubbing my scalp she was kind enough to say in english, “okay“? from my past experience this means: am i hurting you or am i scrubbing too hard. i’m like no, in fact, if you don’t scrub harder i might hurt you. of course i don’t say that, but next time, i’ll have to bring my piece of paper that says “please scrub harder” written in spanish with me.
next i was told to go and she pointed in the direction of the operation station. i’m thinking what happened to my color rinse? i look into the mirror and there’s more gray hair coming out of my scalp than my black permanent sharpie marker can handle. i don’t mind gray hair, but this time i wanted it colored.
“what happened to my color rinse”?
“let me see your receipt”.
“see, it says right here: you are obligated to wash that gray right outta my hair“.
“come”.
i get up and we go back to the baptismal pool area. i have to wait on a translator, but i decide to go with my natural hair color, a medium brown rinse, just to fill in the gray. after she’s done applying the color to my hair, she slaps a plastic bag on my head, nearly covering my eyelids and has me sit under the dryer for about a half-hour.
after my half hour is up, i have to get my hair washed yet again! support the head, support the head. oh forget it! i slide down in the already too less of a chair to get my neck to rest on that groove in the sink and I use all my quivering neck muscles to hold my head over the sink like a champ. 3 more washes and i come out of the pool looking for my gold medal. with my glasses off, that outstretched hand could have been anything, instead it was my signal to go.
after the foregoing process, the rest was easy. my hair was trimmed, rolled and dried. 3 hours and 45 minutes later i had cooperative, bouncy hair and i was happy for a first time visit.
do i have a point? oh yeah, my hairdresser. we have to break up. i like her because she’s familiar and i like the way she cuts/styles my hair. i’m just no good at long distant relationships, especially when i found someone who, with training, has real potential in becoming my new hair stylist. she’s much closer to my home and my job, is less expensive, there’s parking and they are open 7 days a week. that’s a lot to be ignored.
so how do you feel about people who serve you on a regular basis. your stylist? your barber? do you feel a sense of loyalty toward them or are you okay with trying out new people?
Photo of Neon sign by By Shira Golding
Photo of salon chair by VeecoManufacturing.com
Photo of hair dye DrugStore.com
YES! I am first! (jumps up and down but types frantically afraid someone else is leaving comment at this exact moment and will hit submit before me.)
You had me at the video for cheating. Love, love, love that episode! I’m so taken I cannot even answer the question.
Oh yeah. I’m Number One!
cardiogirl´s last blog post..The straw makes the drink
I don’t necessarily have a sense of loyalty — I mean there are people I prefer to have cut my hair over others — but I am very stereotypical. For some reason I HAVE to have an old, black man cut my hair. Not a white person. Not a woman. Not a young, black dude. It’s got to be an old, black guy. I just feel more comfortable sitting in that chair when I know that there’s a pair of experienced hands cutting my hair. It’s nice not having to worry about whether or not my head is going to look like a hot mess for the 4 weeks.
TOPolk´s last blog post..From Russia With Love
I’ve had so many horrible experiences with hair stylists, I just do my own. You gave me a “good” morning chuckle though. Enjoyed the post.
Jacqueline´s last blog post..Sneak Peek 2009 Front Cover
I must admit that I will wait until my usual barber is working before I go in for a cut, he went on an extended holiday and now my spikey hair is in a side parting. I may have to search out (gosh!) a new barber!
but 3 hours 45 minutes????? OMG
I’m done in 20 mins tops!
Andy Bailey´s last blog post..BRING ON THE TRUMPETS!
I’ve NEVER been able to get my hair washed over those hairdresser sinks - it hurts my neck too much. What’s a dominican hair salon?
My solution to hair issues has been to get dreadlocks - but then I’m strange and unbalanced.
Robin´s last blog post..Emotional Balance
For me, I will try to go back to the same salon everytime I need a hair cut; not so much as any particular stylist that I like but rather just the feeling of going back to a salon I am familiar with. However, sometime I do enjoy changing the routine a little to make life more interesting. And last month I did; I discovered a nice salon that is within walking distance from my home and she gave me a good haircut.
BK´s last blog post..New Layout and I Need Help Please
no loyalty here being on the road so much it is more a matter of convenience than anything..which makes for some interesting haircuts..:)))) funny you should post this I am on the road going for a haircut in a small town on the coast..another adventure..:))
robert bourne´s last blog post..Air of Destiny
Since I only trim my hair once a year (if that,) the only people like this in my life are restaurant-based, actually. *L* We always treat them well & vice versa.
Lana´s last blog post..Bogue Falaya Park
Nah, I’m not loyal at all. I go by location and convenience. After all, it’s business: when they move, they expect to acquire new local customers while losing some of their old clientele. I don’t see it as an issue at all.
That was hilarious! But 3 hours and 45 minutes? Yikes, but I guess it depends on how much you have done. I can’t tolerate the fumes in the hair salons for very long. All of my good stylists have always moved away.
Your story sounded to me like a bad experience. I guess I don’t have enough patience. Calling you mommy, that’s strike one, forgetting the rinse, that’s strike two. Why wait for three, I always say.
As for supporting the head, I go straight for the edge (or neck support, I thought it was). I’ve had more bad haircuts in salons than when I do it myself, so I do it myself. My absolute last salon visit forever was when I brought in a picture of what I wanted and the haircutter said, “You know we can’t make you look young like her, right?”
Dot´s last blog post..Weird Tip Tuesday - Smelly Feet
I just go wherever is cheap! Perhaps I should be more selective and loyal.
Chris´s last blog post..Opportunity Amidst Economic Distress
Hi Natural: My stylist colors my hair just the way I like it and I wouldn’t go anywhere else, although he does tend to try to cut off more than I would like (I have to watch him closely). That being said, neither of us has moved. It’s funny that they call you “mami”; there’s a couple of Dominicans in my gym and that’s how they call out to each other. Your sign asking for your head to be scrubbed harder should read: “restriégame más fuerte”.
Marelisa´s last blog post..Eradicating Poverty Through Human Ingenuity - Blog Action Day 2008
My barber is a veritable wizard with the scissors.
Why, one day he even went as far as to trim my pubic hairs into the shape of Her Majesty the Queen.
Lord Likely´s last blog post..Wretch in Peace?
Holy cow — and I get antsy after a 2-hr cut/color/highlight appointment! My hair girl is pregnant and I hope hope HOPE she is still going to do hair after she has the baby. I haven’t had it cut in a while, and I colored it myself last night (semipermanent), but I always fess up and I won’t go anywhere else. She understands my whacked out, fine, kinda straight, kinda wavey hair, and I love her for it.
Monique´s last blog post..How Do I Make It Day to Day?
Hi Natural - I used to be loyal but then my hairdresser was talking so much about her personal life she wasn’t paying attention to my hair. I finally switched, but don’t feel as loyal.
WOW - Nearly fours hours. That’s crazy!
Barbara Swafford´s last blog post..It’s All About Me - Part Two
people who do a consisitently good job and make it pleasant are golden to me - gifts at holidays tips. They add that zesto to life. Unfortunately I have not had a good hairdresser in 23 years since I moved here- they want me to look like little miss tight a bingo lady sorry
sandy k´s last blog post..Great Communication Skills !!!
Hi Natural. First off, going to get my hair cut is right up there with going to the dentist and unfortunately I have to endure it every 5 weeks or so. I feel less loyal than I used to. I went to one salon and every time I’d get familiar with a stylist she would end up leaving to work at another salon. I went to another place and felt a bit uncomfortable when the stylist told me that Davina was his drag name.
Now I go to a place real close to home and real cheap and I’m happy. Well not really “happy”, but I endure sitting in a public place under bright lights, looking like a drowned rat. Other than that, it’s a piece of cake.
Davina´s last blog post..25 Words That Connect Us — Frosty Sunrise
I used to have a brilliant hairdresser in London. Since I moved away I have never found a hairdresser that does my hair, even as good as I do my own. So that’s what I do….My own :O)
Babs - beetle´s last blog post..Diamonds. A girls best friend? - Part 2
My stylist is a friend and last night she cut my hair in her kitchen. It looks great and she is a sweetie. We hang out all the time and she lives only a few blocks from me so it’s a little different than you and your stylist.
Preston´s last blog post..Don Pablos - American Mexican Food Good & Cheap
“calling me mommy now is like taking two giant steps backwards in a game of mother may i.”
ha ha ha
hey when you come visit me one day, you can come see my best friend Tiffany who is only The Best Hair Dresser In The World. You will never have ‘hair folicle issues’ again. *pinky swear*
and she will support your head.
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post..My Progress Report. And Too Much Information.
First of all when giving any chemical service you never want to over stimulate the scalp that is just insane and 9 washes is ridiculous and unheard of so they must not be a professional to start with. Most people will do a color rinse after a perm, but I never would because I hate over processing a clients hair. Why in the world would someone stick you under a dryer for color that is also insane. Under the dryer for highlights okay, better communication between stylist and clients is definitely needed. At any rate we do try to build up clientele, but if you’re not satisfied or move don’t feel like you have to be loyal do what is best for you.
I like to try new people when I’m not getting the cut I seek. But if I find someone who can work their magic, I’ll go back to them again and again. I’ve had a lot of bad hair cuts in my time.
You know, if the barber does a good job washing the hair, there isn’t anything in this world much more pleasurable than that. It feels so good.
I enjoyed your story. Very well written.
Bamboo Forest´s last blog post..How Would You Redesign the Interior of the White House?
Oh, funny! I love that you had to wait in the “recovery area.” And I’ll be thinking to myself, “Support the head, support the head!” for the rest of the day.
I’m cheating on my long-time haircut lady. I haven’t decided yet if it’s permanent, because she’s so easy and close and nice. The new place I’ve tried once is far away, and the stylist (who came highly recommended by 3 picky friends) is famous for being late. But I liked the haircut. I say, go where you’re happy.
JD at I Do Things´s last blog post..I Know Fred so you don’t have to
Cardio Girl, too funny. Well thanks for being first. That episode is so true, I even feel funny when I try to do my own hair sometimes and mess it up. I’m like she’ll know.
ToPolk, I know what you mean. I prefer to go to a dominican salon myself. Men are just as particular about their hair.
Jacqueline, when I do my own hair, the perm that it, it’s just a matter of time before it falls out. That’s great if you can do your own, I can do some things.
Andy Bailey, I do the same, if my previous girl was not at work, I wouldn’t go. 3.75 minutes was only because of all that I was having done, most times I just get a wash and it takes maybe 1.5 hours, depends.
Robin, I don’t think those chairs are made for tall people either.
6BK, yes then there is being familiar with your surrounds. Everybody there knew me as well, which was nice. Walking distance? That’s great, can’t beat that.
Robert, it’s hard to be loyal when you’re on the road, I guess. I probably still would seek out something as close as possible to what I’m used to.
Lana, that’s good on the restaurant service, good help is hard to find.
Vered, good point too on the moving. Normally I follow until I just can’t anymore.
Dot, yeah it took so long because I was having a lot of things done and then I had to sit under the dyer twice. Next time it should be less time, better be.
Chris, cheap is good, I think. Well this place is a lot less expensive than where I used to go.
Marelisa, that’s great, hold on to her. Thanks for the translation. I was affectionately known as Bahlarie, but mommy/mami is okay, for now.
Lord Likely, um, what do I say?
Monique, yeah I needed work done so bad, I said I would sit there all night if I had to. I’m scared to put color in my hair and I can get used to this new place. One thing about going to a regular is that they know exactly what to do. I have walked into places with hair and left without.
Barbara, oh that’s another thing, my hair stylists knows not to make to much chit chat. I’m okay with talking in the beginning, but eventually I want to read my book.
SandyK, I agree. I over tip my hairdresser because of a job well done. A little miss tight bingo lady. ROFL. Funny Sandy.
Davina, really, don’t like getting a hair cut? I hate the dentist. ROFL, Davina was his drag name!!! Oh my hair would not only stand on my head. Funny.
Babs, I have my former hairdresser’s home number and cell number on speed dial…would hate to lose track of her, but since I probably won’t see her again, I should probably call her and say bye. I can do my own hair pretty well, some things I need help with.
Preston, that’s cool, she came to you. I would so love that. I would like to live with a chef, a masseuse and a hair stylist. Heaven, Heaven, Heaven!
Meleah, yeah, I’m back to generic. Tis okay, she’ll get to know me well. Okay then and support the head? Why don’t support the head I’m mean dang!
Jude, hello. Well as long as my scalp is not tender, I’m sure I would enjoy the overstimulation. I hate for people to play in my hair, scratch for real and hard, but I get what you’re saying. Yes under the drying for a color rinse is always how it has been done. Yeah I’ll probably move, this place has too many perks and open on Sunday. I’m up anyway.
Bamboo, I explained to one stylist how I wanted the back of my hair, wanted it off my neck, she cut me bald. The cut was nice, but too short for my unskilled hands to maintain. Yes it feels wonderful. I once saw a bald man get a scalp massage, I was jealous. Glad you enjoyed, it was a long post.
JD!, yep the recovery area and support the head is right. LOL. I was struggling. Late? Oh no, if late is a habit, forget it, but if you like it and can deal….do you have to make an appointment? My place is a walk-in, but I would always call first to make sure she was there and to let her know that I was coming.
Natural´s last blog post..breaking up is hard to do
Love my hairstylist, love my mechanic, have a favorite restaurant, I am so predictable.
BloggerNewbie´s last blog post..You’ve Gotta Be Kidding Me!
Almost to a fault…case and point: The stylist who cuts and shapes my hai (I wear it very very short) is in a salon with a group of women who do “beautiful” work. Sometimes I’d like to bypass his station and go to one of them but my heart won’t let me. So, if I ever decide to let someone else do my hair it will have to be someone in another shop. I’d feel to much like a traitor if I chose one of the women he works with…which is exactly what I want to do.
Roschelle´s last blog post..Sarah Palin mocks fruit fly research - groundbreaking in the study of autism
Oh yea, I am completely loyal to my stylist. I only changed to my current stylist when I moved to a new state. I have serious requirements about who touches my hair and I would not let anyone near my hair with scissors until she has been properly vetted! Before my current stylist, I had seriously considering flying from Michigan to California to have my hair done. My budget would not allow it so thank goodness I found someone I trusted. I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat wondering what I will do if she ever decides to retire or move.
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Come on Big Head, Let’s Roll!
I’m loyal to my mach-3, although i’ve been lazy lately and now look fuzzy on top. I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with any of the hair care products since I shaved. I also get this enjoyable little tingle when the wind blows just right.
Wayne John´s last blog post..Avoid BoredQuiz.com Like The Plague
Hi!
I think I’m the only woman (I know of) that absolutely hates going to the hairdresser. Not only do I find having to hold my head back over a sink at an unnatural angle tiresome and painful, I also hate the fact, that I never seem to leave the salon with the hairstyle I want - it’s always something that the stylist wants!
Still hoping to find that perfect stylist.
Duni´s last blog post..Pink Peony
I don’t have any regulars. Hmmmm maybe that is my problem? Now you have me thinking!
Blogger Newbie, I do love my mechanic too. I cheated twice, but that was it.
Roschelle, oh you want to try out someone in the same salon. That would make me feel funny I guess. My stylist shared me with someone else because she had a lot of heads to do.
Karen, oh you’re serious, hopping a plane? That’s funny, but I totally understand.
Wayne John, sometimes I feel like doing a baldy or a very short haircut. I think my head is too small for that.
Duni, don’t like it. I don’t like going, but I love getting my hair washed and my scalped scratched, rubbed or my hair brushed. It’s a necessary evil I reckon’
Mark, no regulars, not one place where everybody knows your name? As long as it suits you, go with it.
Got to say I loved this post! One: I’m Dominican! Two: My “Mami” is a hairdresser and has owned her own shops for years! So needless to say I’m picky with my hair. Since my mom moved to another state I searched for a hairdresser to take her place and finally found her 5 years ago. Now, she’s a bit expensive but so worth it! She’s Cuban and I won’t go anywhere else!
Jai´s last blog post..Win a Bruno Jamais Gift Certificate!
jai, oh yes, i love my dominican sisters. i plan to get my hair done tomorrow and i hope she is ready to scrub my scalp. wow your mom had a shop, i would go once a week, you didn’t have to pay right? i know someone with their own shop, she’s black, and she keeps telling me to come to her shop and i’m like uh nope….., but her hair looks fab all the time.
NaTuRaL´s last blog post..Answering Comments: Obligation, Optional or Off?
That whole post had me rolling! I LOVE the way you write! LOL!
I haven’t had one hair stylist in ages- I hate messing with my hair- but when I did, it was like cheating on a spouse if I went to someone else. Same thing with my nail girl. So I just don’t anymore. haha
Corrina´s last blog post..Happy Halloween!
Corrina, it was fun to write! I don’t like going from person to person when it comes to my hair, so I hope that other girl who did my hair knows that we are like best friends now….I don’t even know her name. lol.
Feels like cheating is right. Later!
I was cracking up reading this, because girl I know exactly what you are talking about. The whole time I’m reading, I’m saying mmmhmmm! I’ve had 3, no 5 (including my grandmother) in my 31 years. One that I went to forever after Grandma was done with me, Jane, then I went and got a Jheri curl (this was back in the day, of course) and after the Jheri curl I let this chick give me a perm. HUGE mistake! So I went back to Jane and of course she fussed because I “let somebody mess up your hair and come to me to fix it”, according to Jane. I never went to anyone else. When I went off to college I did my own relaxers, moved out of state and still did my own relaxers. Then when I wanted a short hair style, a coworker whose hair is always sharp, recommended a stylist and I went to her and I love her. I follow her wherever she goes. She was at one location really close to my house, then moved about 15 minutes away, now she’s about 45 minutes to an hour away with traffic and I’m still a client. I don’t go as much anymore. I’ve been stretching my relaxers because I dread the drive and parking is ridiculous, but I’m loyal. Once I find a hairdresser who is good at what she does and I’m comfortable with, I won’t step out on her. I’ll do it myself, but I won’t go to another stylist. Yeah, I know that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense…
By the way, love your topics and your writing. I know I don’t know you, but you are one crazy lady! and I mean that in the nicest way
I will be following your writing.
Tamika
Tamika´s last blog post..Stop Writing Checks
Tamika, hey. Hair stylists are serious relationships, I’m not one to jump around in mine. I like the familiarity and gosh it’s kind of personal. LOL.
I try to do as much as I can at home, but they do such a better job at the salon and I always end up damaging my hair. I have gotten better at it though, but it feels good when someone else does it.
Once I find a hairdresser who is good at what she does and I’m comfortable with, I won’t step out on her. YEP, my feelings exactly.
you are one crazy lady….LOL. yes, I hear the word crazy and nuts a lot when people talk about me. tis’ okay. it’s all true.
will be seeing you around blogosphere.
I’m a hair slut. No remorse. Hair grows back.
it sure does grow back, i’ve had to have that attitude a few times because a hair stylist gets scissor happy
witchypoo´s last blog post..Skinny Bitch Gets Dumped
I completely understand what you are saying! I am the worst at getting my hair cut and can go months on end (I am not saying my hair looks good, mind you). It seems whenever I find someone I like, who understands MY hair and what I want, she quits and leaves no forwarding. It’s like they go into Witness Protection or something. Trying to find out where they went is nearly impossible. So, I have to suffer and try to find someone else. I was thinking of making the next person fill out a credit report or something and leaving her mother’s maiden name so that I can find her when she moves on. - lol
i agree. lets start lojacking our hair stylist. i went yesterday, asked for the girl and they were like no Daisy. i was like dang, she only did my hair once, so now i have a new girl
Jennifer (Danifer)´s last blog post..Movie Review: The House Bunny