Bye-Bye Birdie
I don’t know who or what I pissed off in the animal kingdom, but I’d like to make a public apology: I’m sorry. I like birds, really I do, but outside, where the sky is the limit, not my bedroom ceiling.
Last Thursday, I ran outside for a minute and when I returned to my bedroom to finish getting dressed for work, I heard a noise above my head that my brain translated to me as: Get the *&#@ out, now!
It’s only in the movies where people hear a bump in the night and try to find it. Not me, I go the other way. In the wild it might be called survival of the fittest, but in the ghetto, it’s call survival of the fastest. The fastest person out, lives.
In the wild it might be called survival of the fittest, but in the ghetto, it’s call survival of the fastest.
Diving on my belly, I hit the bed like it was an obstacle course and crawled under the sheet for protection. Curled up in a ball, I shook with terror, rocking back and forth while mumbling what the *&^% is that?”
I have to get out of here, on three!
As I ran to the door with the sheet over my head, sound waves bounced off objects sending back vital messages through human echolocation: Dresser. Chest of drawers. Edge of bed. Door frame.
At top speed, I made it out and shut the door behind me in one swoop. After I crossed the threshold to safety, I had to identify my attacker, so I cracked open the door and saw a bird sitting on the blade of the ceiling fan! A freaking bird! How did a bird get in my bedroom?
There’s no way I’m going back in that room, so I closed the door and paced the floor. I called my employer to let them know I would be late. Then I made what felt like a Damsel in Distress phone call to D.
Blah, blah, blah, there’s a bird in my bedroom!!!
A bird, how did a bird get in your bedroom?
I don’t know, side of the air conditioner I guess.
Silence.
So do you want me to come catch it?
Oh great! He reads between the lines, sarcasm and hysteria. Excellent!
“Uh, yes.”
While I waited, I did some research on birds and how to catch them. If I were superstitious, I’d be really messed up as to the meaning behind a bird in the house.
Half hour later the door bell rang, I opened the door like I kicked it in. I don’t remember touching the lock. I ushered D in, gave him a pair of gloves, a towel and asked if he was afraid. He said no, walked in the bedroom and took care of business.1
I heard all kinds of noise coming from the bedroom for the first few minutes, then there was silence. I tip-toed to the bathroom and I heard more ruckus, things being knocked over and finally about 15 minutes later the bedroom door opened. I put the sheet over my head and hid in a corner. “Did you catch him?” I yelled. “Yes, do you want to see him?”
Awh, look how cute he looks, with big man hands wrapped around his little neck. When he was perched on my window frame, I could have sworn he looked more like this bird.
I whipped out my video camera again and filmed a little clip of the captured creature.
“You want to take his picture?”
Well I do blog, my material just doesn’t fall out of the sky! I know a potential blog post when I see one.
The little guy had a nervous stomach from being trapped and crapped in my room. I didn’t come out of this ordeal totally unscathed either. Every shadow on the wall looks like a bird, sudden noises make me jump. I enter the house like a ninja, scanning the floor for dead fish and checking every room for flying creatures before I can relax.
I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but if one more thing with an animal happens, I may need to move. I can see the ad now: Looking for a good home, have sheet, will travel.
Heros don’t always fight in wars, they catch birds too. When D left, it took every bit of strength I had not to sing Wind Beneath My Wings.
- I ran out the back door. [↩]
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My name is Valerie aka Natural and I will be writing about whatever is on my mind. I love teaching, dialogue, sharing and making people laugh. I never know what I'll share here but this is me, Thinking Out Loud.
hahaha… Hilarious.
Natural, I’m sorry it has to be me to break this news to you… But here it goes.
While the bird was housed in your house - it probably relieved itself on more than one occasion, particularly because it was frightened.
I do hope you have a pooper scooper.
Bamboo Forests last blog post..7 Places You Should Never Stick Your Finger
Wow! Looks like we’ve both had bird encounters this week. Mine died unfortunately (you can read my tribute poem at my blog). I’m sorry this little guy spooked you.
When I was a kid, my dad used to bring home stray birds, so I’m more accustomed to them. I once had a drapery wire strung up in my bedroom for a bird with no tail to perform a balancing act. My mom was petrified, but my dad was only concerned for its safety. Unfortunately, it died as well.
Birds, though pretty and cute, do harbour diseases, so make sure you thoroughly clean wherever it landed. I can recommend a great product we use to clean up after cats - it’s called OUT! (appropriately enough), it’s biodegradable and will not ruin carpets or upholstery. You can get it at Walmart, but try their website to see other locations.
I hope your bird and fish “ghosts” don’t haunt you for too long.
Kat
Poetikats last blog post..Sudden Death
I am SO glad that I have the ability to “see” what I read b/c your reaction to the strange thing being in your room made me laugh so hard I was crying! I’m glad you survived that. LOL!
Corrinas last blog post..Fighting the Good Fight
That bird is so cute! I once had a blackbird in my bedroom when I was a kid. Nobody died. I think you’re safe.
Solomons last blog post..Things I’m Grateful For on Friday 1 August
Is it bad that I’m glad this happened to someone else besides me? I’m so sorry for your flighty visitor. I’m glad you had someone to call to retrieve it. Now go close up the hole by the air conditioner or you’ll never sleep again!
Kathys last blog post..I’ll Have the Ten-Toe Special
I would have been as terrified as you were. A few months I had a bird hit our glass door and it fell…I thought it was dead, even called SPCA (I didn’t know what to do) When the call ended it was gone, I thought it was the cat from next door that had gotten the best of it. But it turns out it got dizzy, had a moment and then flew away, NICE. I’m glad to know the poor thing is still alive. Watched the video the bird looks like the one I’m talking about.
Tondys last blog post..Trouble in Paradise!
Birds scrambling…dead fish….
What the heck is going on over there??? What’s next???
Ribeezies last blog post..If you could live anywhere in the world…
Aw, poor li’l bird! Oh, yeah, and poor you, too! LOL!
Not nice to be so frightened, so I’m glad you had someone to take care of that for you.
We’ve had birds in here on several occasions, our local robin seems to think the conservatory is a fun place to be. I’ve had to catch him and take him out so often that he now sits and waits to be picked up!
Hi Natural: I know what it’s like to be startled by an unfamiliar noise in your bedroom. About three weeks ago at 4:00 a.m. I woke up to the sound of a train in my bedroom. It was really loud. It turns out a little toy train that I have which I use as a Christmas decoration and keep in a closet in my room had turned itself on (no idea how). So I know how scared you must have been at first. That being said, I saw the video and that’s one cute bird. My windows are usually wide open. No birds have flown in yet
Marelisas last blog post..100 Tips to Simplify Your Life
I bet that was scary. A squirrel once got into my house. I trapped him in the bedroom and then got my dad to deal with it.
We have to share this world with the animals. I know I’ve seen birds in stores before so they do manage to find their way inside sometimes. I don’t think the animal kingdom is out to get you. You’ve just had a strange week.
Chase Marchs last blog post..Time for Dead Seriousness
“Well I do blog, my material just doesn’t fall out of the sky! I know a potential blog post when I see one.”
Well in this case your material sis fall out of the sky, didn’t it?
Vereds last blog post..So, Another Guest Post
this could make a movie.. birds swarming every where..hanging out in trees and bedrooms..OH wait someone already did that..:))))..if a bird gets in my place I won’t call…:))))
robert bournes last blog post..My Willow Soul
Darlin’, don’t be heading to the zoo anytime soon! I think you need to rid yourself of this Animal Antics Curse first.
Urban Panthers last blog post..You found what in his cabinet?
Isn’t it funny how we, as bloggers, look at every situation to see if their is a blog post wrapped up in it. I was in Vegas this past week and jotted down notes every time a situation seemed like a good blog post. Whether I’m in the cab or strolling through a casino. It’s what we do as bloggers.
I’m glad the bird and you are ok. I would like to see a photo of the bird if you took one. Life throws various problems at us and it’s only over time that we see why the bird flew into our house and scared the crap out of us.
Karl Staib - Your Work Happiness Matterss last blog post..Personal Development for Smart People
Bamboo Forest, this was funny after the fact, I was scared to death. Yeah it did and the clean up is done, except the carpet, need to have that shampooed.
Poetikat, I read your post, it was sad. I like birds, but from a distance. I’m most likely to run out in the street and get hit by a bus running from something with wings. I have a cleaning solution from Wal-Mart that I used.
CORRINA, only me, what did I do. Unbelievable. People are starting to talk….
SOLOMON, he’s cute captured. I’m glad you are living proof of that urban legend.
KATHY, you too? Did you scream like a girl? What did he see in my bedroom that was so inviting that he thought he would come on in?
TONDY, well I was told he did run into the mirror in my room. Wasn’t an easy catch, but I’m glad it’s gone.
RIBEEZIE, I don’t know, maybe I forgot to make a donation to the Humane Society and they’ve been dropping hints. I don’t think I can survive another scare, really.
JAY, yeah we were both traumatized. You touch birds? I can’t do flutter, maybe if they didn’t fly, I would be okay. Penguins are for me.
MARELISA, I thought it was a bat. A train in your room that turned itself on. Okay that would scare me. I might put that toy outside for a few days or take the batteries out. When stuff turns on by itself, I get….scared.
CHASE MARCH, a squirrel is worse than a bird, they are maniacs! Yes, share the world, not bedrooms.
VERED, you caught that one aye? Pun intended.
ROBERT BOURNE, right now I don’t want to see any bird anything just yet. What would you do to the bird?
URBAN, I go to the zoo on a regular, I thought we were cool. I’m kind to animals and insects…that don’t fly over my head or crawl on me. I’ll never forget it.
Hi KARL, that is true of bloggers, we take nothing and turn it into something…mundane and boring into creative and funny or even a teaching opportunity. Kinda cool. There’s a link within the post to the video I shot, but here it is http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3215140/9088833
Can you identify this bird, is it a sparrow? Thanks for stopping by.
Naturals last blog post..Bye-Bye Birdie
I know you weren’t laughing at the time, but it sounds like you are now. I’m laughing with you; this was so funny. I wonder if the little guy eats fish… maybe he heard a rumour???
Davinas last blog post..260+3 Blog-to-Show — How Did You Choose?
Fish, Birds, Lions, Bears, Oh My…Someone must like you. You keep getting great materials to talk about.
“In the wild it might be called survival of the fittest, but in the ghetto, it’s call survival of the fastest. The fastest person out, lives.”
This reminds me the time when I used to teach in the West Side of Chicago. It was quite sad but funny at the same time. Everytime a car muffler back fires, people, including me naturally woud crouch down and look around if something really is going on.
chriss last blog post..A Meaningful Life
Lucky the dinosaurs aren’t around these days. At least you’re safe from needing to clean up after a Dinosaur Disaster.
Robins last blog post..Is Living Like Today Might Be Your Last A Good Idea?
Hello natural, thank you for visiting my blog. Nice reading.
Effendis last blog post..Pembodohan Umat Melalui Ramalan
Valerie, that is HYSTERICAL.
I am laughing so hard because I am such a baby I would have done the same exact thing. I would have freaked out, ran as fast as I could, and called someone else to come deal with it.
The video was cute though.
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..Happy 1st Blog-iversary Drowsey Monkey
You’re definitely having animal issues, Valerie. First the fish, now a bird. What have you done to the animal kingdom lately to warrant such karma?
At least your bird story has a happy ending. On my son’s 4th birthday earlier in the year a pigeon flew full speed into my son’s bedroom window while he was standing right there getting dressed. Loud bang, something falls onto the roof and my son climbs up on the window sill to see birdie with a broken neck and eyes staring into the abyss. Cue confusion, tears and a bad start to the birthday.
Kelly
Another great encounter with the animals ha. Really enjoy reading that and hopefully the next one would not be a bear in your kitchen although that would really make a superb blog post. Take care. Cheers!
shaxxs last blog post..Top 10 EC Droppers for July 2008
Yes, you are right! Thought it would only happen in movie? I had an incident when a bat got into my friend’s father’s house. And my friend was out of the country. Guess what? In the end, she called someone to help his dad to get the bat out. You might have guess it, that person was me. I was activated to help her dad get the bat out. By the time I reached their house, her dad was looking high and low for the bat. I started to look for the bat around the house also. However, I never saw that little fellow - might have left the house somehow.
ok dead fish on floor birds above- Time for an exorcism sk
Sorry, didn’t see the link. Thanks for putting it in the comments. What a cute thing! I’m glad it’s made it safely out of your bedroom.
Karl Staib - Your Work Happiness Matterss last blog post..Personal Development for Smart People
Hi Natural - I feel for you, but that *is* a cute bird! Definitely not the kind of bird that is the messenger of bad luck.
After the fish incident and now this bird incident, I’m not sure if you need to wait any longer to hire Ace Ventura
.
Al at 7Ps last blog post..Do You Know What You Don’t Know?
Hi Natural,
I thought for sure you were going to say it was a bat. But, what a cute little bird.
Only you, can have such delightful (??) stories to share. I was captivated right from the beginning.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Interview With Lorelle VanFossen - Part 7 - From Blogging to Publishing
DAVINA, yeah I’m laughing now, but before I was trembling with uncontrollable fear. A little birdie told him about the fish? Hmmm.
CHRIS, I do have encounters with deer, at this point, I’m just waiting for one to jump out of the bushes and land on my windshield. That’s right, you hear something that doesn’t sound right, you get down or run, ask questions later.
ROBIN, funny you should mention dinosaurs, we went to see Walking with Dinosaurs at MSG, it was cool and yep, I jumped out of my seat, it was so real looking, I thought I would have had at least one nightmare about it, but nothing.
EFFENDI, hello again. I can’t read your blog but stopped by to say hello in English…what’s up! I gotta learn Arabic!
MELEAH, what’s up! It’s good to know that in the event of “boo” that you would be running right along side me. I ran in the street yesterday from a big bug making a lot of noise that jumped out of the bushes. I’m afraid of anything landing on me. I can’t wait for your movie, I already started directing my own version of your movie. lol. Well you put the idea in my head, I’m anxious and need to be satisfied, in my mind.
KELLY, some strange events with animals are happening, don’t things like this happen in 3’s? Oh wait, the hamster died, I’m in the clear then. It’s over, whatever it is. Oh man, that is a horrible story, especially for a 4 yr old. Awwwwhhh.
SHAXX, more like a close encounter, glad you enjoyed. This post was suppose to entertain. I saw a lady on the news who fought off a bear, but not before he ripped her face off. Yeah well if I saw a bear, I wouldn’t have to play dead, that’s for sure.
BK, Oh no, I don’t do bats, or birds…you were brave to agree to catch it. I surely would’ve had to call batman for that job. Things with wings need to say outside. Well when I’m scared my hearing is amplified, so I thought the birds wings could’ve been a bat, that fluttering was just loud, to me.
SANDY, I don’t even watch scary movies, I already know I’m scared. I’m not doing that exorcism stuff though, that sounds scary.
Karl, no problem, if you didn’t see it, maybe others didn’t either. I have to remember to highlight the links. Will stop by your blog again! Thank you.
AL, the bird was cute, captured…not flying around. Maybe I need to put Ace on speed dial as a back up.
BARBARA, helllllooooo. I’m glad it was not a bat, I’d have to blow up my bedroom….creepy. Thanks!
You are too funny! Reminds me of when my husband and I went on a much needed sabbatical up in Clayton, Georgia. Through sleepy, foggy eyes, somewhere around midnight, I thought I saw something fly overhead in the high wood beam ceiling, then I thought I was dreaming that I was in an enchanted forest…but no, a baby owl was in the darn cabin!
Let’s just say I had to change my future sabbatical locations.
Natural, natural, natural!! - I was in stitches reading your “freaking bird” story. But he was cute… consider yourself lucky, it could have been a black crow ghetto bird. You might have needed more than “D”!! - Glad you are recovering… Between the “fish” and now the “bird” - girl get yourself a “pet rock” - like Mister says… you don’t have feed or clothe it!!
One of the Chat Room Girls!!
funny story! One flew in my car one day (while it was parked, of course) We bailed out like someone had aimed an RPG at us. He finally (after beating himself to death against the back window) flew away. I’m sure he had a story to tell his peeps.
Roschelle
Roschelles last blog post..Parents - How Perceptions Change As We Age
Oh my! Sorry for your distress!
Lanas last blog post..Some Recent Visitors
Both my cats and dog have conspired against me and brought LIVE birds into the house…what’s cute in a tree is much, much scarier when it’s winging its way through your house. I mean, didn’t we build houses to keep animals OUT?
Mandis last blog post..20 Great Responses to Terrible Pick-Up Lines
Hi Jacqueline, a baby owl!!! OMG, I would’ve done the same thing, started packing. I’m cool at the zoo, but in a cabin, I don’t think so. Thanks for the visit.
ERICA, hey girl friend, so I don’t have to retell this story at dinner tonight. That’s great, I hate flying food. Glad it wasn’t a crow bird and I keep telling you, I don’t want a pet rock, they’re not that smart, good for taking people out, but boring to watch. Hey, uh we need to be back in the chat room, this emailing is, dare I say it, for the birds! See you later….
ROSCHELLE, oh no, in your car? See I know I would run off the road and kill myself or worse….
They sure know how to get into small openings, glad he finally flew out.
LANA, me too. I thought you, of all people, would be able to identify that bird. You are much more familiar with them than I am…sparrow?
MANDI, I wonder if I had a cat would it have been able to catch the bird. Hmmmm, anywho, you summed it up nicely: what’s cute in a tree is much, much scarier when it’s winging its way through your house. Amen!
Naturals last blog post..Bye-Bye Birdie
OMG, this story cracked my stuff up! Thanks for the laugh this morning. Now I’m off to find a towel to wipe the coffee from my monitor! *LOL*
By the way, thanks for the EC ad!
CrAzY Working Moms last blog post..Conversations with Tyler
Oh, that’s funny! And the widdle birdie was so cute! (The second one, not the first one.) But I would’ve run screaming out of the house, for sure.
Survival of the fastest reminded me of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpPdgrr5diM
I can’t believe I found that. It’s one of my favorite comedy moments.
(Some swearing.)
JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I Like the Previews so you don’t have to
“I ran in the street yesterday from a big bug making a lot of noise that jumped out of the bushes.”
hahahahhahahaha
I once made my father drive a HALF AN HOUR to kill a spider in my house. Only, it wasn’t a spider. It turned out to be a broken hair clip that I thought was a spider.
My father was NOT amused.
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..Unanswered Prayers
CRAZY WORKING MOM, hello and welcome…thanks for letting me advertise on your blog. I’ll be back over there cuz I’m a CWM too. Glad I made you laugh, one great way to start the morning, yes! Coffee, yes, I need my coffee. Later…..
MELEAH, I sure did, and I’m an unfit mother, the bug landed on my kid’s back for a second and I’m like buggggg, didn’t even help the child. I gotta get a grip.
LOL, that’s funny, a broken hair clip. HEHHEHEHEHE. As long as the spider doesn’t fly, “I got this.”
♥ ♥ ♥ like my hearts? learned something new.
Whats up JD! Your comment was eaten by you know what. I watched the YouTube clip, that’s funny and he’s right.
Get Out.
Okay.
Man, Eddie looks happy.
Back in the 80’s the girl I was dating at the time’s parents had just put in a new white shag carpet in the basement. About a week or so later, a squirrel crawled through the chimney and exited through the fireplace in the purest Tasmanian devil fashion. Needless to say, I was the only one who thought it was funny!
Urbane Lions last blog post..The undisciplined Lion
Urbane Lion, men don’t have the *I’m scared* gene…and thank goodness, yall have animals to catch and spiders to kill.
A squirrel? I don’t think so. I would still be “on the couch” over that one.
I’m glad you were able to rescue my comment. That is one of my very favorite Eddie Murphy moments.
I think your house is trying to tell you something!
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Had a Colonoscopy so you don’t have to
JD, Well let me hear something whisper “get out” and it won’t have to be said twice, you can bet on that. I should leave a packed back in the hall closet for quick get-aways or better yet, in the trunk
Natural’s last blog post..Are You Feeling Guilty Over Something?