My envy is showing. It’s dangling, it’s wagging, it’s out! How did the bobblehead get loose? A co-worker showed me a brochure of a car she plans to lease in a few months and after looking at the features cars come with nowadays, my mind started with the what-ifs and my car just seemed, well inadequate.
It’s not a bad looking car, now is it? It’s 14 years young, it has 102 hand-over-mouth mumbling miles, power windows (compliments of your arm rolling them down), it goes from 0 to 60 mph in about a minute and it comes with the 4/60 AC (you roll down all fours and go 60). It doesn’t give me any major problems, I do more maintenance than repairs and it can ride on E for two days or either the low fuel light is broken.
I will admit, it’s not the fastest car on the road, in fact, my back seat driver is always asking me to please just pass one car. She likes to look at the cars behind us, that will eventually pass us, and shake her head in shame. Once I heard applause coming from the back seat and I asked what happened. She said, you passed a car. (If you see a crying 8 year old on Rt. 22 in New Jersey, she’s probably mine, just feed her and send pictures).
Anywho, I didn’t start out with this particular car, but one that looks exactly like it, except it was an automatic and had power everything and was paid for. You know what happens to a car the minute the last payment is made, the engine falls out on the highway. I had planned on driving that car to the grave but it was hit while parked on the street. Totaled.
I was in town getting my hair done and in the midst of conversation we hear this bang and crash, so we ran outside to see what happened. Somebody, just coming from the dealer with his “new to me” car hit four parked cars, mine being one of them. Side note: This is why I like going to the ‘hood to get my hair done, people just don’t hit parked cars! They take them. They don’t leave you with nothing but memories of a car you used to have.
This man lost control of the car, I still don’t know what that means…you wanted to see if the car could drive itself so you let the wheel go and when you realized it couldn’t you tried to get control of it again? I had to watch my mangled car get towed away and ended up walking home. Several weeks later I found my current car, I was able to pay cash for it and was….
Doing okay because ignorance really is bliss, until someone bursts your bubble. Some of these cars have features that would make living in them seem like a better alternative. I don’t want to know that I have the option of warming up my butt with a push of a button. Now I’m looking at dirty new car brochures and I feel like I’m cheating. I’m starting to look at other cars and fantasize about polishing someone else’s exterior. I want to experience high performance rubber on slick conditions. I’m imagining what it would be like to shift someone else’s gears and pop someone else’s hood. I’m finding it very hard to uh, what’s the word I’m looking for…….focus!
I hate that I looked at that brochure, it’s going to take me weeks to get those images out of my head. When my co-worker gets her new car, I’m not riding in it or anyone’s car that is nicer than mine, which is most of them. I don’t love what you do for me Toyota.
I guess I do have a lot of time on my hands. Well actually I don’t, but I found time (stayed up late) to make a little movie that shamelessly promotes my blog. If you have 2 minutes (and 53 seconds), I’d like to show it to you.
C’mon, click the button. I promise I won’t rub dirt on your carpet and then blog about the many ways I can get the stain out. Nor will this shameless blog promotion stain your clothes (I hope you don’t either), it does not contain background music (okay there’s a little at the end), but if you want to hum “We are the World” while you read it, that would not be inappropriate and best of all, it’s rated G for girl needs a life! Please dim the lights…
If I had some animation skills, I could do a better video. I might look into doing something really, really simple, like talking stick figures and hand puppets. So if one day you have nothing to post, throw this up there and join in the shameless blog promotion movement. Spread the Word!
P.S. Have you done any shameless blog promotion? What did you do?
EDIT: Same shameless blog promotion, but with music this time. Pick your pleasure, you can have it both ways. With music or without. Hey when you guys are right, you’re right. I’m shrugging my shoulders. Ahh, it was fun and shameless!
Sullicom tagged me for a meme and thanks for letting me know or this would have gone completely over my head. Anywho, here goes my Five Little Bits (About Me) Meme…
1. I thought about becoming an actress because I can cry on cue. I’m very sensitive, not to the point where I can’t be rubbed the wrong way, for how else will I be polished, but I’m an emotional being. I have been known to weep over commercials, comic strips, Little House on the Prairie, songs, TV shows, the news or anything that touches my heart. Hey, somebody has to balance the universe for those who refuse to work up an emotion. No one would ever suspect I’m a closet crier, people who don’t know me think I’m serious and strong when in reality, I’m soft and pink.
2. I had an idea for an invention that never came to fruition called Life Guard, you can read about it here. I partnered with a company who helped me market the idea from the USA to China and not one bite. Kids are still being left in the car to die. Oprah did not return my emails, but I still watch her show anyway. I was called to do several radio interviews to introduce my product to the public but ended up doing just one show. I’m still paying off the debt incurred from this “invention” and once I do, I will be debt free.
3. I have this unusual ability to make myself dream about whatever I want and to know that I’m dreaming and change the outcome if I don’t like it. It doesn’t happen on command and sometimes it takes a few days for the dream to come, other times it’s like popping in a DVD of my choice. I also use this ability to find things that I have lost by dreaming where I may have left it. It’s kind of creepy and fun at the same time and once I was able to feel touch in my dream. Can anybody else do this? In random dreams most times I’m being chased by Godzilla or some big monster destroying stuff; maybe this bothers me because he’s making a mess or I run out of fear of being eaten. I do not follow astrology nor can I dream the Mega Million numbers. Sorry.
4. As a child when mom would take us to large arenas, I would always get lost (at least that’s what mom says), but even at a young age, I had sense enough to find the lost and found, wait to be picked up and not cry about it! This happened many times and she always came back for me. Today, I have no sense of direction. If my block wasn’t square, I would get lost going around the corner. I’ve been lost so many times, the places now look familiar and I’m proud to point out: I was lost here!
5. I freaking cheated on this meme. I had to go to my ‘about me’ page on my website to find out about me. How freaking lame is that? The thing is, I don’t like talking about myself when asked, the inquiry feels like a test I’m going to fail because I don’t have the answers. I don’t like spotlight and yes, I have a website and a blog, but I never thought anyone would read it. I was just trying to find myself and always had a place to go. I’m comfortable in the back seat, in the corner or sitting next to the fly on the wall, listening. I feel it’s an overwhelming question that will be answered over time and maybe I rather not respond like I’m under the time constraints of a Final Jeopardy answer. Maybe I’m full of crap.
Thanks Sullicom for tagging me. This was a lot of fun, I told some secrets! My future ex-therapist would be so proud that I opened another window. If you’re reading this: tag, you’re it.
Do you care that the call for elimination of the penny has gone out once again? Citizens want to get rid of the penny because it costs more to make than it’s worth. According to the US Mint, each year the government spends $134M to make 8 billion pennies or $80,000,000.
I have to admit, I really don’t respect the penny myself. Unlike the government, I know when to count my losses. If a penny of mine falls on the ground, I know it’s going to cost me more energy to pick it up than it’s really worth, so I leave it there. Why is this an issue and what is your relationship with the penny? Should we keep it or toss it?
Before you decide the penny’s fate, here are a few phrases in the English vernacular that actually need the penny to stay alive:
“A penny for your thoughts”
“Penny pincher”
“Just my 2 cents”
“Every penny counts”
“Penny stocks”
“My lucky penny”
“Penny loafers”
“A penny saved is a penny earned”
If inflation can do this to a penny, soon we won’t have two nickels to rub together. It costs $124M to make 1.3 billion nickels that are only worth “half that much.” Heck, even the nickel isn’t worth a dime!
I have questions, maybe you have the answer(s). If you can help me out with them, list the number question you are answering in your comment. If not, just laugh along with me. Thanks!
1. Why does it take 6 to 8 weeks to get the first copy of a magazine subscription? What are they doing weeks 1-5?
2. Is withholding information the same thing as lying? You have knowledge of something contrary to what someone believes to be true. Lying without saying a word?
3. How come when you’re driving on the street where your car belongs and you hit someone IN the street, they give YOU the breathalyzer? I’m just asking.
4. How come the plastic packaging on kid toys is adult proof? It’s like they really don’t want the kid to have the toy. Have you ever tried to open that hard plastic they ship them in? Then once you get it open they tie the little toy down to the cardboard box with a twist tie and tape just to mess with you more.
5. Why is it that we call out from work when we are not really sick, but will go to work when we are sick as a dog. Coughing on everything and everybody?
6. Why do kids want water at 3:00 in the morning? They go all day without water and just when your sleep is getting good, you hear the faint cry: “Mommy”, “Daddy”, I want some water.
7. How come people ask this question like the answer is just out there somewhere: Which came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken came first. If you believe there is a God, he created the animals first, then they reproduced. If you don’t believe there is a God, then you go on with not knowing the answer to this question.
and my last question, for now……
8. Why do crossing guards hold up traffic to allow grown, walking, adults across the street? One lady thought she was on the cat walk. I said if she pivots, I just can’t be responsible if I press on the gas. They are walking, let them wait!
My name is Valerie aka Natural, and I love to write about whatever is on my mind or anything that is of interest to me. I love teaching, dialogue, opinions, motivational writing, helping people through public speaking and making people laugh. I never know what I'll share here but this is me, Thinking Out Loud.
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