Do Excuses Negate Responsibility?

I have a million of them, no not dollars, but excuses, especially when it comes to why I think I can’t do something. Some excuses are lame, some are funny and they are so easy to make up. In some ways, they had become my truth. I believed them.

Lately, I’ve been listening to myself and others talk and I’m learning that one thing I don’t like about excuses is that they negate a try. I hear this a lot, “I can’t save money because I don’t have any money to save.” Under some circumstances this is true, but the possibility of saving may never happen if we have already excused ourselves from trying.

Rationaliza
tion is the process of trying to hide shameful conduct from ourselves.

I’m working on not using an excuse as a reason for not trying.  They do nothing but keep me from doing something.

Yesterday I woke up an hour later than usual and I was like darn, I’m going to be late! Immediately my body shut down and I started dragging my butt.  Then I said, well let me at least try to make it.  I had to reduce time spent on a few things, but I made it.  No, not everything is preventable, but some things are worth a try. I had a problem with tardiness, but since putting forth an effort, I have not been late once.

Excuses? Kind or Harmful. What do you think?  Also, do you prefer someone tell you they don’t want to do something or do you prefer the “flowery” excuse?

Chuck Gallozzi of Personal-Development.com suggested that we discover solutions instead of inventing excuses by planting this Garden of Success:

First, plant 3 rows of peas;

Patience
Positive thinking
Persistence

Next, plant 3 rows of squash;

Squash excuses
Squash blame
Squash criticism

Then, plant 3 rows of lettuce;

Let us be responsible
Let us be trustworthy
Let us be ambitious

Finish, with 3 rows of turnip;

Turn up when needed
Turn up with a smile
Turn up with confidence

A Million Little Pieces

No matter what happens during my day, there is always that one thing that will break the camel’s back, send me into a deep abyss of failure and self-pity.  For me it’s being late.  I. Hate. Being. Late.

Lately I have been horrible about keeping a schedule, showing up on time and even completing a simple to-do list.  I need these things to function “properly”, that’s how my core or center is wired.

The core is my life and the packaging peanuts are distractions. I’ve been trying to work my core around my distractions, instead of my distractions around my core.  As a result, I’m either late for something or rushing to get there on time. I can’t do that anymore, it doesn’t work for me.  So, I’m in the process of trying to put me back together again, make a simple to-do list as well as a written schedule. For my sanity.

Control Freak? Possibly. OCD? Maybe.

How do you manage your priorities, stay productive and balanced?

Photo by ithinkdancan

If My Life Were A Movie

If your life were a movie right now, what celebrity would get the lead role and what type of movie would it be? A drama? Documentary? Comedy? Science Fiction? Action? Thriller?

If my life, right now, were a movie it would be a tragedy¹ and based on personality and comedic likeness, Ellen Degeneres would play me.  I know, I know, she’s not as tall as I am, but there’s make-up for that, otherwise, perfect match.  It would go something like this:

Synopsis: For the past 17 years of doing the 9 to 5 grind at less than fulfilling jobs, the frustrated and wanna-be writer, Valerie (played by Ellen Degeneres) decides to take the advice of friends and submit her work to several literary agents.  After many attempts, rejects, no response and one false hope, self-publishing seems like her only option, that is, before she is introduced to the world of blogging.

Soon Valerie finds herself swept up into Blogosphere with not just one, but five blogs.  Testing the waters at what comes naturally to her, she decides to write incognito as a wisecracking blogger and quickly gains the following of a small group of loyal readers who demand more.

Meanwhile, her real world is in jeopardy when D (played by Will Smith)² stumbles upon a blog that seems to be an open book of his life and demands to know the person behind the name.  Watch Valerie in this hysterical comedy go to any lengths as she tries to keep her two worlds from colliding and destroying the house that Jack built.

Now, it’s your turn, maybe you don’t have a synopsis right now, consider this a meme,³ but if your life were a movie, what celebrity would get the lead role? According to this site, Ellen isn’t even an option for me based on looks, click here to see my celebrity look-alikes.

I really have to upload some new pictures of myself.

Photo of movie reel by sillyjokes.co.uk

1. turned comedy [↩]
2. sorry Portia [↩]
3. or is it one already? [↩]

When Life Hands You Lemons, You Make A Blog Post

You know what’s so great about blogging? Being able to write about an unpleasant situation, laugh at yourself and blog about it the next day. It’s like I can’t believe this crap is happening to me, but it sure would make a great blog post. You almost want something ridiculous to happen so you can blog about it, or is that just me?

Like imagine the story I would have been able to post had I actually choked my co-worker. I would have even posted the pictures of [their] bruised neck had they not been considered evidence. I was having that kind of week, but I manage to control my emotions by being reminded of a time when I didn’t and in front of a judge.

I was on my way to work driving down a narrow street and on my left was a parked, empty school bus. There were three cars ahead of me and because there was no stop sign from the school bus, we drove past it and stopped at the light.

A few seconds later, a male cop motions for all of us to pull over to the side of the road and wait for another officer.

When the female officer arrived, she was instructed to write all of us a ticket for failing to yield to a school bus (the other officer claimed the yellow lights were flashing), I can’t remember the exact citation, but we had to appear in court.

When I arrived in court, the prosecutor was ready to play let’s make a deal = you pay the court fine and I’ll reduce your charges to no points, deal? I wasn’t ready to admit to something I did not do, so after speaking with the prosecutor, I spoke with the female officer.

She said saw ME drive on the other side of the street (the narrow road with the parked school bus; apparently being last in line, I also went around the cars in front of me) to sit at a red light. I said you weren’t even there, how would you know? Well that was her story and she was sticking to it. Fine, I’ll go before the judge and ask for a new hearing with my attorney.

She was clearly lying, but in a “he said-she said” situation the person in uniform usually wins. By the time I got in front of the judge I was incensed, and it showed, but I agreed to the plea deal because I wanted it to be over.

When it came time for me to sign a sheet of paper saying I accepted the plea, I scribbled my signature with a wave of my hand and then the judge got mad! He said I could not sign my name like that because that was not my signature! Two hot heads. I was held in contempt, never made it to cell, but had to pay a fine for that public display in addition to my other charges.

So as I’m walking out of the court room, I say something to another person who was also pulled over and the judge said I was being disrespectful for talking in court and for rolling my eyes at him. I admit I was trying to burn a hole in his dress with my eyes and may have shown some disgust when it didn’t work. I guess he let his emotions get the best of him too because he reversed all my charges and said to come back next week and to bring my attorney.

*&^%!

Just so happened I worked, and still do, at a law firm. When I got to work, I had a few minutes to calm down and realized my plan to show up dressed as a nun at my next court appearance was probably not a good idea. After being assigned an attorney to represent me, I faxed a letter of apology to the judge and the prosecutor for my behavior earlier and agreed to apologize in court.

Several days later when I arrived in court with my attorney in tow, I was calm and made sure I didn’t make eye contact with the judge. When my case was up, he called my attorney into chambers and I assume they were talking about me.

Turned out the judge was good friends with the female partner at my job and I had the wrong attorney. Standing before the court, I said some stuff I meant and the rest of it was hogwash! I felt like putting on an Emmy worthy performance, but instead, I paid the fine and quickly left before I got into any more trouble.

While I can look back at this situation with a slight grin, I will never trust a cop and I’m afraid of school buses. I still dream of revenge but now when life hands me lemons, I make a blog post.

Photo of Lemons by Shaunb.blogs.com
Photo of Gavel by by Lubbock
Photo of Flame by Rotten Tomatoes

Out of Time

Why do we have all these “time saving gadgets” but we don’t seem to have enough time in a day? I thought when I moved from dial-up to high speed that I would spend less time surfing the web. Wrong! I spent more time surfing the web because I didn’t have to wait for pages to load or programs to download.

I found myself sitting at the computer for hours and the things I once enjoyed doing didn’t get done or when I did do them, it was done in haste. I was neglecting responsibilities, paper work was piling up, mail went unopened. I was not myself. I felt rushed, impatient, envious, always playing catch up trying to make up for the time I spent on the computer. My life hadn’t changed much, but what I was doing with my time had, I wasn’t using it wisely.

Even though I came up with some lively excuses to cover what I was really doing, in the back of my mind I knew what the culprit was and realized I had to get a grip on how I spent my time. I had other responsibilities and obligations that required my time and attention they just weren’t getting. It was easy to say “I didn’t have time”, but my truth was my time was being mismanaged.

I used to wonder how some people seem to get so many things accomplished in a day or even a week. What I’ve found is that 9 times out of 10, they have a schedule and they stick to it. To some, I guess a schedule is like a budget, it’s too restrictive and it doesn’t allow room for spontaneity. That could be true, but hours of unscheduled time doesn’t lead to productivity either, often times it leads to nothing.

Personally, I like the feeling of accomplishment and if I leave things to chance, chances are they won’t get done. I’ve been working on a schedule, trying to find a mix that doesn’t leave me feeling overwhelmed and here’s my work in progress:

1. I make a list of all the things I need or want to do
2. I print a calendar for the month
3. I pencil in my top 10 “must-do’s” on a day that task could be done (I spread them out during the week (i.e. Sunday - Exercise, Monday - clean bathroom, Tuesday - sweep floor, Wednesday - blog) so my schedule isn’t too full. By the end of the week, my chores/errands are done.
4. After these tasks become more routine, I go back to my list and add 5 more items to my weekly schedule.

This works for me, especially when it comes to keeping the house clean. I don’t want to spend the entire weekend cleaning and running errands, I want to relax too. Yes, write that on your schedule: do nothing. Each week can stay the same or you can add more things to your schedule from your list.

Another area I’m trying to get a grip on is when it comes to blogging. Actually, it takes me 15 minutes to write a blog post and 2 days, 6 hours and 4 minutes to edit it. Well not precisely, but I do spend a lot of time doing something I’m really bad at: editing and proofreading. I also like to read other people’s blog, this takes time. Some blogs I know I can read in the morning and leave a comment, others I read while at work and the rest I read when I get home. Generally I post on my blog three times a week and I reply to comments twice a day. This schedule works for me and I can keep up with it.

Also switching from I.E. to Firefox turned out to be a big help. If you have not made the switch yet, download Firefox here. It’s a cool browser with some great features. Below is a list of my top 3 time management add-ons:

• Time Tracker - Track how much time you are spending on the web. Numbers don’t lie. If you can’t get anything done and you’ve logged 6 hours surfing the web, do you really have to ask why? Keep track of how much you browse with TimeTracker.
• Reminder - ReminderFox is an extension that displays and manages lists of date-based reminders and ToDo’s. I love this one because the reminder pops up on my computer screen, unlike my other reminders that are emailed to me. Yes, I’m pre-alzheimers, not making jokes. Thanks to K for pointing me toward this great add-on.
• Split Browser - This splits the content area of the browser window as you like, left, right, top, bottom. My laptop can split the screen if I wish, but this add-on is a no-brainer for me. Great for when you’re answering comments on your blog. There’s no need to scroll up and down trying to make sure your answer everyone. Split the screen, keep your comments on one side as you type on your replies on the other. Thanks Barbara for sharing this find with me.

Of course, not everyday is a by the schedule day, I try to keep it light but productive. I’m always looking for balance and not chaos. So, how do you do all that you do? Does your life have a schedule? How do you manage your time?

Photo of timer: Valerie Morrison. Yep I bought a timer, I’m that bad.

PS - I know this font is too small for some of you, I’m working on it….