Doggone, Grandma

When I moved to “Hysteria Lane”, I thought the neighborhood was going to be a peaceful one, anything had to be better than where I used to live. Loud music, police sirens, rowdy kids and barking dogs.

My previous neighbor had a dog that stayed outside everyday, sometimes even in the rain and it barked constantly. Several people complained about the dog to each other, but not to the owner. To do so was more of a dare than a “neighborly request.”

During one of my sleepless nights, I decided to write a letter to my former neighbor pretending to be a young child and mail it to them. I’m not ambidextrous, but for pleas and threats, I write with my left hand. The wording is not exact, but it read something like the letter¹ to the right.

Eventually not only did the barking stop, but the dog was gone too. I saw my neighbor days later and asked about the dog, (like I really cared, I was happy in my serenity now like state). He said he let the dog go because he didn’t have time to take care of it. Uh, okay?

I don’t think that’s the case with my current neighbor who lives behind me. She has a new dog, but this dog doesn’t stay outside and bark nearly as long as the other one.

I was looking out the window, watching filming the barking dog and up pulls a black car and out rolls grandma from the back seat. She’s happy to see her dog and his tail says he’s happy to see her too.

Darn, now what am I supposed to do! I can’t write granny a letter, what could I possibly say about her annoying barking dog.

“Keep FIDO quiet or you won’t be allowed into Bingo.”

“Your senior citizen discount is in jeopardy.”

“I’ll get you, my pretty and your little dog too.”

It wasn’t until I looked at the bench outside of her home that I realized that this is the same lady that used to walk around the neighborhood with her elderly husband, hand in hand. Gee, I haven’t seen him in a while and oh my word….that explains the dog. I’m thinking either that’s one heck of a make-up job or grandma knows how to keep the real witch quiet. I will leave this one alone.

Dog photo by ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com

1. click to zoom [↩]

A Fish Out of Water, Literally

Last Friday, a good morning phone call got me out a bed and as I do every morning, I check on the pets to make sure they made it through the night. So I’m standing at the fish tank and I noticed that a fish was missing.

I did not see it on the floor so I got down on my knees to look into the tank because I’m positive it has to be in there, no way that big fish got out of the tank! Confused as to its whereabouts, I looked even harder and noticed that another fish has the look of a child who just broke something.

This fish looked so suspicious that I started questioning it.

“What did you do?” No answer. He just hid behind a plant like he either saw what happened, caused what happened and wasn’t going to tell me what happened. He did favor one side of the tank though and seemed very interested in something on the floor. I turned to where he was looking and this is what I found 5 ft. away underneath a chair!!

Now I was still on the phone, my mouth is moving but no sound was coming out. It’s like that dream you try to scream in, but can’t. I disconnected my phone call and then I had an episode!¹

I need to find out who was eating rice under that chair!

How did this happen!! The tank has a lid and while there is a small space at the back of the tank, I assumed a fish would need the precision of a heart surgeon to maneuver that opening.

I was so upset that morning and not only because I woke up to a dead fish on the floor, but that my floor is not as clean as I thought. Just look at him, he had all kinds of trash on his body: a blue string, some hair and two grains of rice!

Even though I worked a smile or two in this post, this YouTube clip is how I really feel. It’s going to take me a few days to get over this one. Every time I look at that spot on the floor, I will think of Sylvester. I recently heard something on the news about medicine for depressed dogs and I thought how insane, now I’m wondering if it comes in fish form.

Fishography:
Sylvester X, 5 yrs. old approx.
Date of Death: July 25, 2008
Cause of Death: High Jump
Movie: Co-starred in Fish Food Fight, Netted over 75,000 viewers
Sylvester is survived by a host of other fish, friends and onlookers. In lieu of sending worms, eat chicken.
Favorite quote: “The glass is not always cleaner on the other side.”

EDIT:
Kat wrote a poem in the comments that made me smile. Thanks Kat!

1. I screamed like a girl! [↩]

Hamster on the Loose!

I woke up this morning to find this little guy, Cheddar, missing from his cage. Around six this morning, I heard him running on his wheel because it was knocking against the cage. Usually after he finishes exercising, he crawls back into his little home and makes his bed. I peeked in his cage and my worst fears were realized, he was gone. He does have a cover on his cage, but there is an opening at the top that was covered, perhaps not good enough. I guess he wanted his freedom.

Immediately, I called out to him like he was going to come crawling out from under the couch or respond to me the way a dog would and come running. No Cheddar. I checked under couches, radiators, beds, closets, everywhere!

This is my daughter’s pet and she won’t be home until today, so I’ll have to break the news to her. I’m sure she could handle him dying, but escaping? I don’t know what her reaction will be. Before I left this morning, I did leave some food in the middle of the floor hoping he will crawl into his pet carrier. I also left the lid off his cage thinking that he’ll just jump back in by the time I get home.

Strangely enough, this morning, I heard some noise outside of my window that I thought was a squirrel. Maybe Cheddar found his way behind a wall and was attacked by a mouse.

Lesson for kids who want their freedom too early: Not all restrictions are bad, some are for your protection. Although Cheddar chose not to listen and stay in his quarters, I’m still hoping for his safe return.

Maintain the Fish Tanks In Your Life

To me, my fish tank is a thing of beauty, sometimes I stand there just mesmerized by its comeliness. I even invite people over just to look at it, other fish enthusiasts, of course. Initially, setting up an aquarium is a lot of hard work, especially if you have a large tank. A lot of time, money and energy is invested for it to be successful. It truly is a labor of love.

Basically, an aquarium requires my being dedicated to weekly water changes, vacuuming the gravel, changing the filter media, pruning live plants, cleaning the glass, spending time observing my fish and keeping an eye on the water temperature and parameters. Sure, I can skip some of these steps, but if I want to have a thriving tank and healthy fish, each task deserves some regular attention and maintenance from me!

So my tank has been up and running smoothly for weeks, but the work is not over, it’s just beginning. This is no time for me to slack off and throw it into auto pilot because I can still run into problems. There may be times when I could have issues with my tank that may threaten the life of my fish, such as disease, or I could have something I’m currently dealing with now, snails. I hate snails. “Snails are like roaches” is what my local salesperson at the fish store says. Now, not every tank will have snails, but there is a chance if live plants are placed untreated into a tank, snails may be present. So, left untreated, I now spend a good amount of time plucking these suckers out of my tank and discarding them because they are a threat to my plants.

There are times, however, when I can’t stand to look at the darn thing and that’s when I have let too many days or weeks go by without giving my tank the needed care and maintenance. If the glass gets too much algae (high wattage from the lights) on it or if the water looks less than clean, I don’t even want to look at it, it’s almost non-existent. I see it, but I don’t. I won’t even bother feeding the fish because that will just add to the chaos in the tank. To me, it has lost its beauty and I’m no longer interested because I failed on maintenance.

Now, I’m a busy person and sometimes I just don’t have the time needed to take care of the maintenance as often as I would like, but I never let it get to a point where the tank is in danger. I find it necessary to have to make, and sometimes create, the time for maintenance in order to keep me interested and the tank free from disaster.

Where am I going with this? I was just thinking how relationships are like fish tanks. They need to be maintained, some things need to be changed, other things monitored, some things pruned and sometimes things, like snails, need to be removed for the overall health of the tank.

I’m just wondering what we do when problems arise in our relationships. Have we slacked on maintenance? Do we look the other way? Do we ignore the symptoms? Do we lose interest? Are we too tired to deal or are we quick to pluck these “snails” from our lives and make the necessary changes? Regular maintenance of your relationships, any relationship, is what will help it thrive into a thing of beauty. May you never be too tired or busy to maintain the fish tanks in your life.

PS - Here’s a link to small video of my fish tank. Okay one more.

Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right

I’m almost too tired to voice my opinion on this whole Ellen fiasco. I said, almost.

I love you Ellen, but you’re wrong. Not necessarily for not reading the fine print, who reads the fine print, but you were wrong for taking a private matter to a public forum.

To Mutts and Moms, you’re wrong too. No Ellen doesn’t deserve any special treatment because she’s famous, I hate special treatment, but could your organization perhaps gone into the home to see if the new family was qualified to take care of Iggy. This isn’t about what’s in the best interest of the dog, this is about your policy and how nobody, not even Ellen, can break it.

When we have conflicts with people, it’s best to privately go to that person and work it out. Don’t broadcast the problem and collect your army of supporters. Ellen you know you are very influential and have a large following of people who adore you. Now, their organization is the target of death threats. To the other side, your policy seems to be one of haste and a bit inhumane. Pun so intended. Now we have divisions among two groups of people who don’t know all of the facts, but are adamant about who’s at fault here, myself included. I say give the darn dog back.

I’m convinced that people who don’t extend mercy have never been shown mercy. (If I can’t get a break, then why should you?) No they can’t do this for everyone who doesn’t read the fine print, but would it really hurt to look at the individual situation and then make a decision based on knowledge and not law.

I went into Annie Sez a few months ago and bought a pair of slacks that was a final sale item. When I got to the register to pay, the cashier looked at the tag and said, this item is a final sale. I said I don’t know what that means. She said, it means that once you buy it, you cannot return or exchange it and no store credit. I knew they would fit and I said okay, that’s fine. The cashier made sure there was no doubt in my mind that she did not want to see me again with those pants unless I was wearing them in the store to buy something else. FINAL SALE. I got it.

It seems odd though that Ellen was just unaware of this stipulation. Again, we don’t know all the facts, so it should have been kept a private matter.

Now I just have to get this image out of my head of Ellen pleading and crying on t.v. My mother says she’s full of crap.