We’re Not In Kansas Anymore

Dorothy was right, “there’s no place like home”. Whether I’m out of the country or across town there’s always a certain excitement I feel when it’s time to go home and then it hits me. Culture Shock! I arrive from: what’s green to what’s that on the ground. My neighbors don’t pick up crap and I guess I shouldn’t complain because I found 5 dollars on the ground yesterday afternoon, but some times I look around in disgust and think, this place is a dump! On paper, we live in a somewhat affluent neighborhood, (but we’re broke…we don’t even have a nanny) one that is thought to be clean, where people take care of their property, and in a few places it is, a facade. You think you are going to be living next to The Cosbys and your neighbor turns out to be Sanford and Son. I guess every town has a ghetto and my block is it. Too bad we don’t live on paper.

The beginning part of my vacation was great, I sat on my derriere for hours at a time watching the last set of my Beauty and the Beast DVD series, gosh I miss that show! I finished one book and started another. I also did a light workout just to keep me from getting too lazy. What’s funny is that when I’m away, I don’t comb my hair unless I really have to and even then, I fake it. I do the Donald Trump comb over and hope for the best.

However, when I get back, I go straight to my hair salon pointing at my matted down hair asking my stylist if she can fix this. This home coming was no different. The salon was empty and on this rare occasion my stylist also washed my hair as well. Okay, if you don’t have nails, you should not be allowed to wash hair. Period. That is the job requirement. Normally someone else washes my hair, does a sloppy job too, but she has nails! She supposed to be washing the back of my head, but her hand reaches down the back of my neck and sometimes I’m lying back in the chair thinking: if your hand goes any lower, you better pull out a ring next time. I didn’t ask for a hair cut this time, but I got one. (You just have to teach yourself how not to cry when you see more of your hair on the floor than you do on your head. I think I’ve mastered that skill, it will grow back.) I was undecided about coloring my hair to get rid of the gray because I’m considering testing out my black permanent Sharpie Marker. I don’t know if it colors hair and if it doesn’t, I’ll just cut them out, there’s only a few.

Today I went NYC to see The Lion King and acted like a tourist, I’m so ashamed of myself. All that was missing was the camera dangling around my neck. It was a nice show and the music was great. It rekindled my love for theatre, but it’s so expensive. I actually tipped the lady in the bathroom! Personally, I think they should have tipped me for even getting up to use the bathroom, but I made the most of my tip and used it three times.

So I can’t believe it’s almost Thursday, the week flew by and I barely touched this house (to clean) and I haven’t met my friend for lunch yet, hopefully, I’ll do that tomorrow. So, I’m going to enjoy what’s left of my vacation because all it takes is about a half hour at work to undo this calm I’m experiencing now…and people have to wonder why I stop short in the hallway and click my heels, Dorothy already told us:

I’m Outta Here!

I’m taking my vacation. holiday. paid leave. mental break. personal time, call it what you want early this year. Okay so it’s only for a week this time and I’m looking forward to what I call: rest. As soon as people hear that you are going on vacation, they want to know where you are going, not if you are going somewhere. (Side note: Do you always vacation at home or away?) I’m actually going to camp out at home most of the time. My favorite vacation spot however would have to be the Outer Banks, we go there every year, but not until September…maybe not this year?

Anywho, I’m going to do something I have only done once before while on vacation: I’m going to leave my laptop at home! Seriously, that’s a big deal for me. I love doing “stuff” on my computer and surfing the web. I’m replacing my laptop with a book, some paper and a pen, my camera and my voice recorder. I’m going to be one with nature. I’ll be visiting relatives a few hours away for several days. I’m literally driving hours away to sit on someone’s couch (I’m thinking about bringing my laundry…don’t laugh, I’ve done it before) and watch Clean House and the NBA All-Star game. I’m leaving the anxieties of life behind and I’ll pretend to live another life. I might even change my name while I’m there. I’ll have my cell phone but it won’t be on and callers will be greeted with this message. I also won’t be checking my email from any computer because I am disconnecting, until I get home of course.

When we get back home, I’ll spend some of my time doing things around the house and on my to-do list, like cleaning, organizing and getting rid of stuff. I know that’s doesn’t fit in the “fun” category, but it pleases me. I might have to unplug my computer and put the laptop in the attic or otherwise they will do nothing but entice me all day. I have plans to meet with a friend for lunch, another day we’ll hop on a train to the city (there is only one “the city”, New York City) to see the musical The Lion King. I love the theatre, but I hate musicals. It’s not normal to be talking and then break out in song unless you’re crazy (that’s not real life), but it’s different, I’m trying and I didn’t have to pay for the tickets, so I’m going.

I’ll “see” you all later and look forward to reading all of your blogs when I return. Happy Blogging.

~OOooOO~

Money Monday Tip #14 will air in its usual time slot because it’s already written, and thanks to the powers that be at Word Press and their post timestamp feature it shall appear on this blog some time in the wee hours Monday morning, when I better be sleep. So with that being said, I’m outta here……

Home Again

The Day Before

Saturday was by far the most beautiful day of the week, I could only sit on the beach and inhale my surroundings. I love the beach, well private beaches anyway. An elderly lady walked up to me and whispered something in my ear. I’m like, ‘me no speaka english’. I thought she was trying to convey some type of AARP gang message and I was not accepting. Finally, she pointed to my hat that has a college team logo on it and then to her t-shirt which I assume was the same team. After I understood what she was saying, I proudly said, “Oh this hat? I don’t know who the team is, but it cost me 5 dollars.” I was more proud of what I paid for it than the comradarie we shared.

Fast forward to the 11th hour, who would have thought that the hottest commodity would have been a roll of toilet tissue. Either we had that great of a time or it really was time to go. Sure we could have drove into town to get more, but that’s just something you have to have on hand, or in your hand, at the time of need. So we packed up, supplies were dwindling.

My final hours were spent in my favorite room in the house, the den. I turned on the fire place and curled up on the couch and watched Suze Orman. I really did not want to leave.

Home Again

However, there’s always a certain excitement about going home to the things I miss. People, pets, my bed, my wonderful bed and familiarity. Sure, I go through a cultural shock once we get off the parkway. My first image was of a man standing on the street corner eating, what I’m assuming to be, his dinner out of a styrofome box. I adjusted my eyes to a squint and watched him as he did his finger-licking-good sway.

I got home and scanned my surroundings. Okay, the house didn’t burn down or up, that’s good. I look up and down my block at my unknown but familiar neighbors nd said: It’s nice to be home, again.

Hi, my name is Valerie…..

and I’m a saunaholic. I’m still on holiday on the OBX and have been coming here since 2004 and not once did the sauna interest me. So yesterday, I decided to give it a try, mainly because from my waist down, I was in pain and I figured it could not hurt, much more.

I’ve never been in a real sauna before, not counting being at home in the summer with no central air. This heat is different. I love the heat, sitting in the sun, I love hot and spicy food and I love hot stuff! It would make sense that I would like the sauna.

Anywho, I’m dressed in shorts and a tee shirt (lol), walked out to the wooden box with something to read of course. I had to read the directions on the wall to get it started, not a problem. I have a seat on the bench and I wait. Wait for what I don’t know, but I wait. I open my magazine and I start to read. I notice that opposite of me is a wooden bucket with some water and a wooden spoon. I don’t know what it is for, but I’m thinking soup. I ate, no thank you. I bury my face in my magazine and continue reading. Meanwhile, the heat is starting to, well heat up. Awh this is great! I raise my arms over my head to grab some heat from above and my arms return with chill bumps. The temperature reads 100 degrees. Every once in a while I would touch the ceiling with my hands to feel the heat up top and wish my legs were so blessed with the feeling.

I wasn’t thinking about people putting their naked butts on these benches, the heat is cozy and I want to lie down, so my magazine becomes my pillow. I’m in position to heat my legs so I rest them above my head at a 45 degree angle. Within minutes my toes are on fire and that bucket of water suddenly looks like relief. No, I did not do it, my feet would not have fit anyway. Finally at 140 degrees, I can feel prespiration escaping from my body, all of the impurities and toxins to find another host. Ahhhh. I could go to sleep, but I don’t want to wake up dead, so I don’t allow myself to drift in comfort.

I only set the sauna for one-half hour and my time is up and my hair has been straightened, thank you. I thought about going to the gym room and then telling people, yeah I just came from the gym, lol. I looked like I really had a hard work out, instead I head to my room for a shower. I’m rejuvenated and my legs are full of vigor and energy.

So this will probably just be another habit of mine to support when I get back home. This morning I rolled out of bed and into the sauna, but for some reason it was not as hot as the day before. Tomorrow I’m going back and I’m cranking it up!

You know I was sitting in that wooden box wondering how I can duplicate this at home, for cheap of course. I thought of sitting next to the oven, but it probably won’t be the same. I do have sciatic nerve issues, I wonder if my HMO will cover the cost of a sauna for me as home treatments. 1-800…..

Sauna facts or rules and benefits

1. You first take all your clothes off (I would have imagined that this is how to clear out a sauna, and personally I require knowing your first middle and last name and a recent copy of your credit report, but okay).

2. Shower before you go in (Shower before you go anywhere).

3. Use a towel to sit on the sauna bench (I’d prefer you use it to cover up, but okay).

4. While in the sauna, it is also traditional to “whip” yourself, (or your guest) with a bundle of birch branches called “vasta” or “vihta” in Finnish. (If you could only see my face right now).

Benefits:

1. Using a far infrared sauna can help strengthen the body’s immune system

2. Far infrared rays improve blood circulation, stimulate endorphins, lower lactic acid, kill certain bacteria and parasites, and burn calories.

3. A good example of far infrared heat is the light produced by the sun. When people do not receive adequate amounts of far infrared heat, they often can become ill or depressed. THIS IS TRUE. I’M SAD WHEN THE SUN IS NOT OUT.

4. Studies indicate that benefits of far infrared sauna use include: muscle relaxation; stress, tension and headache relief; reduction and removal of body toxins; increased cardiovascular strength; increased blood circulation; strengthened immune system; improved lung function, and refreshed, moisturized skin.

I can’t list everything so here’s a link http://www.greatsaunas.com/info/40-facts-for-far-infrared-saunas.cfm

If you get a sauna before me, can I come over. I’ll bring the bucket of water??? Oh and forgive the typos, erros and whatever else is wrong. My editor quit….talking about she wants to be paid for her work. Whine. Whine. Whine. I haven’t been paid yet either….we’re starving artists for a reason.

Joy and Pain

I haven’t worn shoes since September 16th, I feel like Wilma Flintstone. We’re not allowed to wear shoes in this house because they may scuff the red oak floors. I will tell you one thing, I am in such pain for all the wrong reasons. I don’t think it was the exercise that did me in yesterday, but I think it’s the walking on these marble and wood floors with no shoes.

I have an appointment with my chiropractor when I get back, but I need a full body massage with how I’m feeling right now. I’m on my heating pad trying to tame my sciatic nerve while my lower legs throb with pain. No exercise for me today, I can’t, not without a Percocet. I think I may just crawl out to the hot tub or sauna tomorrow, but right now, I’m going to rest and think pleasant dreams. Good night.