Comments on: Friends and Money http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:09:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Natural http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-5017 Natural Tue, 09 Sep 2008 14:57:45 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-5017 <b>Hi Pumps</b>, I’m a little late on the reply, sorry. I’m not totally against helping someone with money, but my answer is likely no. If a person doesn’t treat money with respect me giving them money doesn’t help any, it treats a symptom and not the problem, especially when people go back to the same <b>behavior</b>. If you (not you specifically) want to learn, I’m here to teach. <b>Talk about Debt</b>, it is awkward and difficult to get back lent money. If friends can’t pay creditors or their bills, their chances of paying you is about the same…nil..which is why I prefer to give it when I can. There are some friends who honor the debt and their word and some do fall on hard times. I would evaulate everyone differently. If that person is not willing to sacrafice, why should I? Sounds mean, but we have to help ourselves first. Thanks for the visit, will return. Hi Pumps, I’m a little late on the reply, sorry. I’m not totally against helping someone with money, but my answer is likely no. If a person doesn’t treat money with respect me giving them money doesn’t help any, it treats a symptom and not the problem, especially when people go back to the same behavior. If you (not you specifically) want to learn, I’m here to teach.

Talk about Debt, it is awkward and difficult to get back lent money. If friends can’t pay creditors or their bills, their chances of paying you is about the same…nil..which is why I prefer to give it when I can.

There are some friends who honor the debt and their word and some do fall on hard times. I would evaulate everyone differently. If that person is not willing to sacrafice, why should I? Sounds mean, but we have to help ourselves first.

Thanks for the visit, will return.

]]> By: Talk About Debt http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-5016 Talk About Debt Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:28:46 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-5016 So so true. It is so hard to get money back if the person you lend it to gets into serious debt. Paying friends and family get repaid over normal creditors you can get into serious trouble with the courts in the UK. So so true. It is so hard to get money back if the person you lend it to gets into serious debt. Paying friends and family get repaid over normal creditors you can get into serious trouble with the courts in the UK.

]]> By: Pumps http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-4154 Pumps Wed, 06 Aug 2008 23:25:19 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-4154 I do not know how to react anyways. Beacuse I have also been needing money, and I have had some friends helped me out. If it were not for them, I would have been in deep trouble. I still have not repay a couple, but I do not hide from them either. I tell them strayup. Pumpss last blog post..<a href="http://www.pumpindex.com/component/content/article/1-newsflash/5-welcome-to-pumpindexcom-your-source-for-pumps">Welcome to pumpindex.com your source for Pumps</a> I do not know how to react anyways. Beacuse I have also been needing money, and I have had some friends helped me out. If it were not for them, I would have been in deep trouble. I still have not repay a couple, but I do not hide from them either. I tell them strayup.

Pumpss last blog post..Welcome to pumpindex.com your source for Pumps

]]> By: Natural http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-2981 Natural Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:45:36 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-2981 That's true too Holly Kay. It's like when you hold a door and the person doesn't say "thank you". I used to get upset about that, but the reason I held the door is because that's the kind of person I am...I don't hold the door to get the thank you anymore, although it's nice. Same with giving, I guess, you do it because you want to not because of what you may or may not get out of it. I agree with you, if I have it to give, I rather just give it...it does relieve you of the stress you can feel of wanting to be paid back. That’s true too Holly Kay. It’s like when you hold a door and the person doesn’t say “thank you”. I used to get upset about that, but the reason I held the door is because that’s the kind of person I am…I don’t hold the door to get the thank you anymore, although it’s nice. Same with giving, I guess, you do it because you want to not because of what you may or may not get out of it. I agree with you, if I have it to give, I rather just give it…it does relieve you of the stress you can feel of wanting to be paid back.

]]> By: Holly Kay http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-2958 Holly Kay Sat, 14 Jun 2008 22:28:57 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-2958 Money is the same as any form of help. I find when I give it, the recipients usually don't value it as highly as I do, though they're happy to get out of their bad predicament. Same with all forms of help--volunteer work included, which I've done sooo much of! But I still help and give money because the point of helping isn't to be appreciated, but to help. SO, my solution is giving money and not accepting payback. I do this only with close friends and kind family. It works very well. Also I am lucky to be in a position to do this. This method is much, much easier on my stress level than loaning. And, through this method, as with loaning, the less desirable friends quickly reveal themselves, either by asking for more help way too soon or other ways. Holly Kays last blog post..<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/HusbandClothes/~3/312022523/">Husband’s New Project = All Weekend No Husband</a> Money is the same as any form of help. I find when I give it, the recipients usually don’t value it as highly as I do, though they’re happy to get out of their bad predicament. Same with all forms of help–volunteer work included, which I’ve done sooo much of!

But I still help and give money because the point of helping isn’t to be appreciated, but to help.

SO, my solution is giving money and not accepting payback. I do this only with close friends and kind family. It works very well. Also I am lucky to be in a position to do this.

This method is much, much easier on my stress level than loaning. And, through this method, as with loaning, the less desirable friends quickly reveal themselves, either by asking for more help way too soon or other ways.

Holly Kays last blog post..Husband’s New Project = All Weekend No Husband

]]> By: Natural http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-2943 Natural Fri, 13 Jun 2008 19:55:28 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-2943 Lessa, you saw the quote on my sidebar, I thought it was timely: you can't end poverty by lending people money. it's true. we have to be taught or teach ourselves how to manage money or it will just continue. i'm not talking about people who really have a poverty issue, but people who make a decent amount of money but manage it poorly. the world won't end. teaching just lives forever. Lessa, you saw the quote on my sidebar, I thought it was timely: you can’t end poverty by lending people money. it’s true. we have to be taught or teach ourselves how to manage money or it will just continue. i’m not talking about people who really have a poverty issue, but people who make a decent amount of money but manage it poorly.

the world won’t end. teaching just lives forever.

]]> By: Lessa http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-2913 Lessa Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:39:36 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-2913 I think you handled it the right way. I've loaned money to friends expecting it to be repaid as promised.........it's just annoys me when people can call you to ask for th money but not call you to let you know you won't be getting your money back as promised. So the bank of Lessa is closed. Just last Sunday my sister called me on Sunday....She needed $500 to be wired to her on Monday and she would turn around and wire it back to me on Monday........huh?????? The story was that she changed over her bank account and her husband's check wasn't direct deposited but mailed and they hadn't received it yet..........huh????? I explained to her that any check return fees would be less than the cost she would incur by me wiring the money down and her wiring the money back. Needless to say I didn't send the $500 and you know what......the world didn't come to an end!!! I think you handled it the right way. I’ve loaned money to friends expecting it to be repaid as promised………it’s just annoys me when people can call you to ask for th money but not call you to let you know you won’t be getting your money back as promised. So the bank of Lessa is closed.

Just last Sunday my sister called me on Sunday….She needed $500 to be wired to her on Monday and she would turn around and wire it back to me on Monday……..huh?????? The story was that she changed over her bank account and her husband’s check wasn’t direct deposited but mailed and they hadn’t received it yet……….huh????? I explained to her that any check return fees would be less than the cost she would incur by me wiring the money down and her wiring the money back. Needless to say I didn’t send the $500 and you know what……the world didn’t come to an end!!!

]]> By: Mommy Reese http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-2893 Mommy Reese Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:02:28 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-2893 You know I had the same experience as you did, however you handled this one really responsibly and maturely -something that I would have or should have done a long time ago. You can visit the rest of the story at this link http://majalabonque.blogspot.com to get the whole picture. But yes, I learned my lessons -in a bitter way. Thanks for the post :) You know I had the same experience as you did, however you handled this one really responsibly and maturely -something that I would have or should have done a long time ago. You can visit the rest of the story at this link http://majalabonque.blogspot.com to get the whole picture. But yes, I learned my lessons -in a bitter way. Thanks for the post :)

]]> By: Natural http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-2864 Natural Tue, 10 Jun 2008 02:23:17 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-2864 That's what I'm thinking Daisy, unless I have it to give, don't even go there. Barbara, that's the thing, money is not worth losing a friendship, which is why they should pay you back. :) I rather give Sandy, that way there's no hoping, you know it's gone. If it were money I had lying around, I would, no problem, but if I need it back, then I want it back. Shilpan, I heard the same thing this afternoon. I'll be over to your blog later this evening. I have been reading it for sure though. Thanks for stopping by... Meleah, you're so smart, hiding all your millions so people won't ask you to borrow. It can be difficult and create problems. Vered, putting it off on the spouse always works. Small amounts, no problem...give. give. give. enjoy. Larger amounts need to be weighed. Lana, if my BEST FRIEND loaned me money, there is not an ounce of doubt that I would pay them back. I don't think not paying your vow should happen with your close friend, it's unthinkable. Friendship is worth more 750$, that's why the debt should have been honored (to me) because you are worth more.... That’s what I’m thinking Daisy, unless I have it to give, don’t even go there.

Barbara, that’s the thing, money is not worth losing a friendship, which is why they should pay you back. :)

I rather give Sandy, that way there’s no hoping, you know it’s gone. If it were money I had lying around, I would, no problem, but if I need it back, then I want it back.

Shilpan, I heard the same thing this afternoon. I’ll be over to your blog later this evening. I have been reading it for sure though. Thanks for stopping by…

Meleah, you’re so smart, hiding all your millions so people won’t ask you to borrow. It can be difficult and create problems.

Vered, putting it off on the spouse always works. Small amounts, no problem…give. give. give. enjoy. Larger amounts need to be weighed.

Lana, if my BEST FRIEND loaned me money, there is not an ounce of doubt that I would pay them back. I don’t think not paying your vow should happen with your close friend, it’s unthinkable. Friendship is worth more 750$, that’s why the debt should have been honored (to me) because you are worth more….

]]> By: Lana http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/friends-and-money/#comment-2856 Lana Tue, 10 Jun 2008 00:06:46 +0000 http://valeriemorrison.net/blog/?p=217#comment-2856 I had a similar situation some years ago involving about $750 & my best friend. Although I was mad at him for a while when I realized I'd never see that money again, I eventually capitulated, realizing that our friendship was worth far more than $750. I'd never get into that situation w/him again, though. These days I live hundreds of miles from most of my friends, so it doesn't come up anymore. Lanas last blog post..<a href="http://lucidflora.blogspot.com/2008/06/evening-hike.html">Evening Hike</a> I had a similar situation some years ago involving about $750 & my best friend. Although I was mad at him for a while when I realized I’d never see that money again, I eventually capitulated, realizing that our friendship was worth far more than $750. I’d never get into that situation w/him again, though. These days I live hundreds of miles from most of my friends, so it doesn’t come up anymore.

Lanas last blog post..Evening Hike

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