I Can’t Afford to Be A Woman Anymore
I am almost afraid to do the math, but I know I cost a lot of money to maintain and I just can’t afford me anymore. Woman have to look good, smell good and dress nice. This cost money, who is going to help pay for this? I’m sure someone (besides you or me) is benefiting from the upkeep.
Well, if you are married, maybe your husband could pay for your maintenance, but I’m almost certain that if he knew what it cost to be a woman, you might turn up missing. This is why some women hide what they buy and sneak clothes in to the house.
What if you are single with significant other? Well if you do have a significant other, maybe he could pay for it, but what happens if you break up. He’ll say something juvenile like I want all of my stuff back, then what? You are back to not being able to afford yourself.
Here’s a solution to satisfy (well an attempt to) women everywhere. I’m thinking there should be government funded centers for women stocked with monthly care packages, nothing fancy. I’m thinking a bag filled with a manicure and pedicure kit, deodorant, tweezers, razors, make-up, sanitary napkins, pantyhose, vaseline, lotion, cotton balls, night cream and a coupon for a free pair of shoes and a hair cut.
Yes, I learned to do many things myself that women pay to get done to save time and money or I may not get it done at all and just look a mess. There are also other necessities such as shoes that can walk you right to the poor house, literally. Guys, you know women need a lot of shoes. We need the heel, the pump and the loafer in at least 3 colors for each pair. Shoes costs $50-$100 a pair.
You want to be able to run your hand through your woman’s hair, successfully? I just got a hair cut for this purpose alone. That cost at least $120 - $150 a month for a basic wash, if done weekly.
We have to smell good too? Yep, woman cannot live on soap alone! Personally, I import my fragrances from
Clothes? We need outfits to match the occasion. There’s the mall outfit, the exercise outfit, lunch with the girls outfit, work clothes, dinner clothes, where does it end? I try to keep my look conservative, simple and free of fads and designer labels, but it’s still expensive to look like Plain Jane.
I won’t even go into the time it takes to put all of this together, I just know, I can’t afford to be a woman anymore.
Okay, I’m done ranting for the day. Ladies, how much is your monthly upkeep. Hey if anyone has a solution on How to Be a Woman on a Shoe String Budget, call me.
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what a fantabulous idea…a government funded center for the upkeep of woman! i’ll stand in the lines! my upkeep is on a drastic cutback…i used to pay about $200 every six weeks for cut/color/highlights. 60/month…manicure. clothes…well, we just won’t go into that! but, lately, i’ve had to do my own hair/nails. my mom took me for a pedicure. no new clothes for me, lately. too many kids to pay for and not enough money!!!!
I’m afraid men don’t come cheap either. I live with three of them (Hubby and two, almost men, sons). They may not be into clothes and physical upkeep materials, but what about the golf clubs, motorcycles, cars, etc. Much more expensive than a trip to the manicurist. But I do like the idea of your government center!
Fantastic idea, government-sponsored beauty! LOL
No foolin the cost of everything is goin up but we must pamper ourselves to get thru the daily grind of life Im adding you to my blog as ravs savs and favs FYI!~
hb~
I am not even going to attempt to add it all up, that would be far to scary.
Okay we got this to work on my planet. I think it might work for you Earthlings.
We’ll set up an ETF or Exchange Traded Fund. Each woman who participates will form a Limited Liability Company or LLC. Then each LLC will issue stock and hold an IPO or Initial Public Offering. A portion of said stock will be bought by the ETF and the rest by the general public. Each LLC will invest the money from the IPO in income producing securities and other things to make a profit. A portion of the profit will be distributed to the shareholders in the form of a dividend, payable quarterly. The rest of the profit will be distributed to the members of each LLC as a salary, which will aid in financing the cost of being a woman.
Now you can sell your stock but then you’d be out of business and where’s the fun in that?
I could get behind this. If I were in charge, everyone making less than x thousand dollars a year would get a care package every month.
Men over the age of 16 would get the following:
-Deck of cards
-A fifth of your choice (Rum, Whiskey, Scotch, Gin, Vodka, Tequila)
-A quarter of government issue sticky-icky
-Box of .45 bullets to go with the handgun issued once at 16.
-T-shirts: 3 White, 3 Black
-Jeans: 1 blue, 1 Black
-Boots, socks
-Condoms
-Deodorant
-Carton of smokes
Tyler I would suggest you form a charity to handle the distribution under your IRS code 501c(3) so the public can make a tax-deductible contribution instead of jacking up your already gargantuan tax code.
where do I sign up for the womans care package? I am going to the poor house trying to maintain my appearance.
I want to sign up for Tyler’s care package!
What’s up FiveSpeed. Of course, you want that package, lol. It is more expensive though to be a woman, that stuff he listed is not even for maintenance, but pleasure. lol
Hi Natural,
I’m glad you linked to this post. What a great read. I like the idea of the government funded program. Think we can get the next President to endorse that?
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..How To Get and/or Add A Gravatar To Your Post Comments
Hey Barbara, maybe this thought can be posted on one of their blogs…I say let’s get the word out. We could have walk in stations, by appointment only. I see a movement.