Money Monday Tip #20
I’m going to change things up a bit on Money Monday. Instead of money tips, I’ll blog about a finance related matter. The titles will also change and since I like even numbers, this will be the last post ending in a Tip.
Today’s topic: Prenups.
What is a prenup? A prenuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement, commonly abbreviated to prenup or prenupt, is a contract entered into by two people prior to marriage or civil union. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for the division of property should the couple divorce and any rights to spousal support during or after the dissolution of marriage.~ Wikipedia
I can’t think of a more touchy subject when it comes to planning a marriage. In fact, many people feel that having a prenup
is planning for a divorce. I’ll admit if you want to break up an engagement this subject might do it.
I remember an episode on Senifeld when George wanted out of his engagement to Susan so he decided to ask her to sign a prenup, thinking she would be insulted and call off the wedding. Susan, who was worth millions, laughed at the idea and agreed to sign.
Of course, it doesn’t quite play out like this for most people. Feelings are hurt, thoughts of not being trusted arise, doubts about your future as husband and wife are in black in white, just in case. Finances are rarely discussed in depth when entering a marriage, people assume that everything is copacetic forgetting the business aspect of marriage. Love is beautiful, but unfortunately, not too many couples are fighting about how much they love each other, but over finances. Money related issues is still the number one reason for divorce. I’m not suggesting everyone who is planning to get married run out and have a prenup drawn up, not everybody needs one, but I’m thinking Paul McCartney could have benefited from such an agreement.
I wanted to know what then would be some good reasons for having a prenup and according to SmartMoney.com they said you might consider getting one if:
· You have much greater assets or earn far more than your partner — Divorce courts usually award the poorer spouse anywhere from 10% to a full half of the marital property (including household income and possibly inheritances).
· Your partner has substantial debt — You could end up sharing the burden in a divorce settlement.
· You have children from a prior marriage — They need to be protected (and have their college tuition paid) if you die or get divorced for a second time.
· You own part or all of a business — An ex-spouse can claim a share, unleash an army of nosy accountants to perform a valuation or even force a liquidation.
· You’re planning to put your partner through school — If your spouse earns that medical degree and then splits, a prenup will ensure that your contribution is rewarded.
So, what are your thoughts on prenups? Good? Bad? Depends? Only for the super rich? Would you sign one if asked, would you ask your fiance to sign one to protect family property? When is it a good idea to discuss a prenup or is it ever a good idea to bring it up?
Would I sign a prenup? Well first let me read what’s in it and then I’ll tell you if I’m mad or not. I guess it’s like a living will, it’s a document you hope never has to used, but it’s there if you need it. “Hope for the best, prepare for the worse?”
Photo Credits:
Prenuptial Agreement - Awesome Backgrounds
Couple - Woolley & Co.
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Prenup,very good idea. I didn’t think this was going to affect me until I read “if you’re planning to put your partner through school”. Yap my hubby wants to go to Med School, and I have some underlying trust issues so I’m in a tight bind. I’m definitely considerind a prenup - it can happen after you’re married, right?
Tondy’s last blog post..In the Cold I lay!
My husband and I never had to worry about needing a prenup because both of us aren’t really worth anything financially. We knew we would enter into a marriage “broke”…lol… and with hardwork on both our parts hopefully build something solid together.
But, yes, I would sign a prenup. I understand wanting to protect whatever you have worked hard for and it would suck to get divorced and suddenly have to share what only you worked for.
But yeah, I’d read it and if I didn’t have any objections, I would sign it!
Jillian’s last blog post..Why Variety is Indeed the Spice of Life
alas having been down the road twice..this advice comes to late….:))
Robert Bourne’s last blog post..The Redneck Peers Into the Future
Well Tondy, it might be a good idea for some, but not for all…it’s touchy. Nobody is after my .02, but I have other issues. No, you can’t get one after you’re married. It’s pre…meaning before the marriage.
Jillian, I know, lol. First marriage for regular joes, maybe not…2nd marriage with money and kids, maybe. I would sign one after I read it….shoot, maybe I’ll even draft my own. :/
Darn Robert, this post is too late. Sorry, next marriage.
Natural’s last blog post..Money Monday Tip #20
Ok…. I gotta vent….. I wouldn’t recommend anyone signing a pre-nup agreement! And I am not even talking from the perspective of not “getting anything” from your spouse… I could care less, but the mental and emotional strain from having such an agreement is somedays just paralyzing… Now I plan on being married “forever” and even if he decided to divorce me, I wouldn’t take anything that wasn’t mine anyway. But the presence of a pre nup just is constantly a “reminder” of how much he doesn’t trust you and how much he feels like he needs to “protect” his STUFF from the likes of you…
Kinda makes you feel like you‘re an up and coming criminal. So then no matter how much he tells you he loves you and trusts you and wants the best for your relationship there is always that lingering “yeah right” in the back of your mind.
And just when you finally start getting used to it and have tried to put it as far in the back of your mind as possible, something HAS to bring it right back up again and the emotional cycle repeats itself. For instance, he wants to refinance his house… well now all of a sudden because of state law you are required to sign paperwork anyway, even though you have documentation saying you have no vested ownership, which he makes VERY CLEAR to the bank. So not only are you “embarrassed” in front of the people at the bank, because they KNOW he has a prenup… therefore you must be a “gold digger”, but then the documents come out of the printer with your name on the Mortgage… God forbid! Well, being in the field of loan processing for a few years, I know that even if the other “spouse’s name is NOWHERE on the loan, they still have to sign the mortgage to protect the bank. So anyway, the mortgage paper comes out with your name on it…. And he “freaks out” and tells them the paperwork is wrong and you ARE NOT supposed to be on the mortgage, so then you are really embarrassed because you REALLY look like a BAD person that he has to protect his stuff from!!!!!!!!!!!! And about that time you just want to cry…. He really has no idea because he’s not in your shoes. But don’t you “dare” bring it up or he’s just sure that it’s because of the “money”… and no matter how much you try and explain he just doesn’t get the fact that it emotionally “messes” with your head and your heart. Totally sucks to be you.
Barbara, thank you for this prospective..I never looked at it from this viewpoint or never would have known had you not broken it down for us like this…I had to share this with some of my friend. You gave me something to think about and maybe even changed my mind about signing one..if I were ever so fortunate. Emotionally “messes” with your head and your heart….that’s very true. Thanks for sharing this!
Prenups are tricky. It can either strengthen your marriage or destroy the very foundation of marriage, which is trust.
Indeed they are Mandy, I guess after reading Barbara’s comment, they have me spooked a bit. I “understand” them, but never had to live under the “umbrella” of one.