Mr. Mom

In the December 2007 issue of Essence Magazine, I came across an article I thought would be interesting to blog about, Stay at Home Dads (SAHD).

The only SAHD that I know are called unemployed and they are there, temporarily, by default. There are, however, a growing number of men who voluntarily opt-out of corporate America and are choosing to be the primary caregiver for the kids and work from home.

Being a SAHD comes with many challenges, prejudices and sometimes even ridicule. They have to deal with stereotypes of what a man’s role in the home should be. Typically, he’s the one that works outside the home.

Then there are the stay-at-home-moms (SAHM) who are uncomfortable with a man assuming what is traditionally known as a woman’s role. Often times he is excluded from playgroup activities and mothers refuse to send their kids over to play if the primary caregiver is SAHD and the wife is not home.

Friends and family are also quick to voice their approval or disapproval on the man being the primary caregiver. This is especially true if the woman’s father is still alive. He may view his son-in-law as a freeloader who should get a real job.

Male friends may give the SAHD a hard time with the thought of a woman taking care of him and the family. Female friends may give the working mom a hard time because she is out working while he sits at home watching Oprah.

Interesting enough, statistics show that “half of all children with highly involved fathers in two parent families reported getting mostly A’s through twelfth grade, compared with 35.2% of children whose fathers resided outside the home.” Source: National Center for Education Statistics.

1.8 million - The number of preschoolers whose fathers care for them for more hours than any other child-care provider while their mothers are at work. Source: U.S. Census Bureau.

Spike TV Poll reports that 31 percent of black men taking care of their children full time compared with 18% of white fathers and 25% of Hispanic fathers.

Census Bureau estimates that across the country last year there were 159,000 fathers who remained out of the labor force to care for their children while their wives worked.

It’s unfortunate that many SAHD are looked upon as inferior or less than a man because they choose to stay at home with the kids. Parenting is challenging enough without outsiders forcing their ideas of what the roles should be in your family. Personally, I don’t have a problem with a man staying at home and taking care of the kids (sometimes, I’m glad to go to work to rest - shhhh), because parenting is no walk in the park.

The times we live in today are very different from yesterday. Whatever reasons (be it financial, inadequate childcare or a desire to be there) a family may choose in having a SAHD, no doubt it is in the best interest of their family, and if it works for them, who am I to criticize?