Should You Care What Other People Think?
Who's pulling your strings or controlling your life?
Do you care what other people think about you? I asked a few people this question and they said they don’t care what other people think. Well actually they said they don’t give a rat’s *** what people think, but I was putting it nicely.
Sometimes it seems like the attitude today, and not just from the younger generation, is: I’ll do what I please and if you don’t like it, then you can shove it. Some people like to believe that they live in their own world and nothing they do affects anyone. There is more concern about self and less concern about others.
Then there are the people pleasers who spend too much time caring what others think about them. They don’t live their life based on their thoughts, but on the opinions and approval of others. They thrive and need acceptance from others to feel validated as a person. I was reading something that said this need is like a drug, “it’s so addictive that most people will not give it up – they will keep looking for approval because the hit is so intense.”
“The price of the approval drug is freedom – the freedom to be ourselves.”
Personally I don’t care what others think about me, most of the time people get it wrong anyway, but I do care how I am perceived. That means I’m okay with being weird (or being different) I can contently dance to the beat of my own drum, but if someone thinks I’m a horrible person, then we need to talk. I do care about my character, who I am as a person.
My question to you is: Where, and how, do you draw the line on how much influence and control you give other people. The comment section is open for your participation.
Michael Miles, the author of Thirty Days to Change Your Life, for Free said that we should “live our life by means of a set of values - not values imposed from the outside by others, but innate values which come from within. If we are driven by these values and not by the changing opinions and value systems of others, we will live a more authentic, effective purposeful and happy life.”
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I DO NOT care what other people think! I care how what I do impacts people. I do not set out to intentionally hurt people’s feelings, so that would make me feel bad. I do not dress to suit others. I do not care if my house is a wreck when they stop by unannounced, I do not do things to please others. But I do like to do things for other people. There’s a big difference. My inlaws are all about appearances and it drives me crazy. If someone doesn’t care for how I do things, it’s too bad for them, I’m a fun person to be around. But I will not conform to please others and anyone who expects me to is not someone I would like to hang out with anyway.
Hi Shelly, that’s a good way of looking at things, the impact of your actions. You don’t have to care about every detail, but whether or not if what you are doing is harming someone…then decide.
Shelly´s last blog post..Just be Straight Forward
I used to care a lot. It’s getting better as I’m getting older. My goal is to get to a point where I truly don’t care about what others think. I’m not there yet.
Vered, I don’t think I will ever be there myself…not where I truly didnt care, well with the exception of family, friends and people who know me, I don’t care too much. They’re wrong. lol
Hi Valerie. I use to care a lot, but I’ve realized that “defiantly” I don’t care. But then when I do something and my inner critic starts going blah, blah, blah about it, I realize that I care more about what I think.
Hey Davina, you have an inner critic too, we all do. Sometimes it’s okay to at least hear it out before we turn it off.
People should only care what I think of them, to be honest.
Lord Likely, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell people, what does the Lord say, what does Lord think.
Lord Likely´s last blog post..The Likely Before Christmas
I was thinking about this topic the other day. My husband and his whole family seem to be so different from me and my Mom. I was raised to worry constantly (sorry MOM) about what others thought about me and about how I was treating them. I always try to live by the Golden Rule. When I go places, I worry about my actions having a negative impact on others and I tend to live my life the same way. I know this is not wrong, but there DOES come a point when you have to ease up a bit and just live. However, when it comes to what I WANT to do, I have always been a leader and not a follower. Since being with my husband, I have noticed that he and his family are more the later. They don’t really give a thought to how others are effected (I am sorry sweetie, that is not to say anything bad about them). With their help and a little bit of the way I was raised, I am slowly easing up a bit and not caring as much.
jennifer, no it’s not wrong in my book to live this way, but sometimes you do have to let up a little, set boundaries and live by the golden rule. can’t go wrong there.
Jennifer (Danifer)´s last blog post..Plyometrics Workout
the older I get the less it matters although there is a line there which seems to move depending on the situation..also the older you get the better your judgement at least some of the time ..I guess it’s like a filter somethings you pay attention to while the rest gets thrown out with the coffee grounds
Robert, great analogy - filter/coffee grinds. I love it!
robert bourne´s last blog post..A Guest Post by Ignored
I have marched to my own beat since I’ve been able to walk. In order to be that way, you CAN’T worry about what other people think. In my adolescence, I went through a period where I did try to fit in, but it didn’t last long. Ignoring what everyone else said or thought, I decided that it was best to just follow and be myself. You gotta have balls to do it and deal with the flack that comes from it, though. People will always try to beat and tear down that which is most unlike them.
Here is one of my favorite quotes that sums it all up:
“Always do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” - Dr Seuss
Fitness Diva, I think I read that quote when I was doing a little research. I think it depends on who is saying what. I can’t ignore the people who know me and I love, but I can ignore and dismiss chatter from outsiders….they don’t matter and I can’t care too much or at all.
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what’s up with that crazy avatar I got? LMAO! ok, I see why…..
glad you found out why. lol. that’s a funny looking thing.
The Fitness Diva´s last blog post..The Recession = Inflation Diet
I do care and I dont care. It depends on WHO.
I care what my family and friends think of me, and I can be a bit of a people pleaser from time to time.
But, as for strangers? No. I dont care at all.
*Said the girl who goes to the store in her pajamas and slippers.*
Meleah, well said. It depends on who and everybody can’t be a who. I went outside in my PJ’s too, flannel, lol. I said man I’m getting cozy with the neighbors, but I have seen people shop in their pj’s..rag on their head too.
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post..Friday Funnies: Golfballs and Butter Cups
My opinions are strong and I tend not to care when I’m talking in person to someone or it’s someone I know well but with strangers in a blogging forum….I’m not real comfortable speaking my mind as I don’t know the background of my readers. I’m not attempting to be a people pleaser by not speaking my mind as much as I’m trying to just be considerate.
Most people will/do call me a cold hearted bitch (oooooh, can I say that here - I’m assuming yes since this post is about speaking your mind and my mind says…..).
I’m shocked really that people spam and curse people out that speak their minds - really? I think the funniest thing is that some of these people call themselves Christians - that’s hilarious!
I’m thinking that I will probably do more face off posts in the near future.
Mamaflo, well we’re entitled to our opinions and at least you are considerate about people who may not know you before you speak, which means you do care. I care, but I wont people please either: I say If you don’t know me, you probably won’t like me, if you do know me, then you’ll love me. simple
Hi Natural: I think there’s a difference between being self actualized (being independent of the good opinion of other people, as Maslow put it) and just being so self-involved that you just don’t care what others think. One comes from strength, the other comes from weakness. Acting from our values is precisely the way to not care what others think in a good way.
Marelisa, that was an excellent comment. Self actualized and self involved. Interesting.
I love your quote, “The price of the approval drug is freedom – the freedom to be ourselves.” I spent the first 3 decades of my life living for the approval of others and yes- freedom was definitely the casualty of that “approval driven” lifestyle.
Kathy, that was a great quote, not mine though, but a great one. People who try to people please and give up their freedom are unhappy and it shows. I know a few people like that, sadly.
Kathy @ Virtual Impax´s last blog post..Twitterpated by Twitter
I used to give a lot of control to other people when it came to my life. Recently, I’ve seemed to have adopted a “don’t-give-a-damn” kind of a attitude. It seems to be working quite well for me.
Matthew, a lot of people are being forced into the I don’t give a d@mn now because for so long they have given a d@mn and it hasn’t gotten them anything so now they are just like, forget it, I’m going to be me.
Matthew Dryden´s last blog post..Merry Christmas
I think there’s almost a double life we lead when it comes to how we feel about how we’re perceived from others. On the outside we may talk about that rat’s a@@ that we don’t care how we come off. However, inside we try to make sure that it’s not a total disregard for every rule in society. There may also be a bit of the “Andy Warhol” in most where the “I don’t care what anyone thinks” is a quick way to notoriety.
Tom, of course it’s an act. If we say I don’t care at all, then that person has probably just been hurt. To protect themselves, they pretend like nothing matters and that they don’t care about anything when they probably care the most. Coping mechanism.
Tom Rooney´s last blog post..Lower Ab Exercises For A Healthy And Fit Mid Section
Perception is reality.
What people think of you is, for them, the reality of you and it can make a difference.
There was a period when I received better pay increases and more freedom in my work than coworkers because of our customers’ perception of me as compared to the others, while I didn’t particularly feel that I deserved it any more than the others.
Mike, you make a good point, but some times people perceive wrong, but it’s their reality, not your truth. I get the same Kudos from customers and well, thank you. Sure I deserve it, why not.
Mike´s last blog post..Along the Highlands Trail
I try to maintain a balance in respect to others. If I’m hanging with a strict Mormon or Christian let’s say, I’ll be nice. I’ll conform to what they expect to hear and not start blurting out obscenities like I would with my friends. I try to be respectful to those around me. For the most part, I care less what others think, but I’d rather they didn’t think I’m some imbecile either or be quick to judge. Mike is right, perception is reality.
Wayne John, that’s a great way to live. No we might not care what people think about everything, but we can still show them respect.
Wayne John´s last blog post..Merry Christmas!
There is a quotation which I choose to live by, “I am not bother by what others said about me as long as I know they did not speak the truth.” When I first came across this quotation by Abraham Lincoln, it was like ‘enlightenment’ to me. In so to speak, I do not live in a world of my own; I take in positive and negative feedbacks do more of the positive and change the negative.
great quote BK. not easy all the time, but that’s what it boils down to. people who know, know.
BK´s last blog post..Paying It Forward at Symphony of Love
This is a tough one for me. I guess I do care what others think. Sure I am opinionated and verbal at times but I do respect the “situation” at hand. I just made a huge switch to begin another blog for this very reason. I had too many readers that I knew personally and I did not want to offend them with my post, etc. Mainly because they were teachers, neighbors, etc. I feel as if one must step back and “think” before they just let it go.
On the other hand…I am not offended by those that do. For me, it does not work.
(First time over…I think. I do love the blog)
Hey Cricket, thanks for stopping by. I had a blog like that where I could speak freely…didn’t quite turn out the way I thought it would, but I know what you mean. I never want to hurt anyone on purpose, but sometimes, you just need that “blog” to vent.
Cricket´s last blog post..The world is yours to borrow…
What a cool cool post idea.
My Performance Coach pointed out to me about 9 years ago that I worried too much what other people thought about me, both on stage and in general in my life. So I started kciking some a** and never looked back.
No but seriously, as I have matured to my current great wisdom I let little things slide. And allow myself to be the strange but unique person I was born to be.
Comes right down to it it’s me, God and all living things. I try to treat creatures well. Anything else — like wearing high neon orange rubber boots with army pants and a purple tube top is my business and I’m happy to do so. Or bursting into song in the supermarket. Those, I am not hurting anyone so certainly do not care what people think.
I do try to live by a code of personal standards of courtesy I see perhaps slipping away in society. But… and what do you think of this next statement… perhaps each older generation has said that about the younger generation for the past 5000 years, that manners are slipping?
Hi Jannie, it’s funny, I too was very self conscious when speaking in front of an audience…all it took was someone to say: get over yourself, they’re not paying attention to you anyway. LOL. Treat people kind, with respect and if they still don’t like me then I say the defect is their own.
Jannie´s last blog post..Something funny…
While I would like to say, heck no I don’t care what anyone thinks it’s simply not the truth.
I struggle so much with this. You may or may not know that it was my undoing last December. If you want to know more about that email me and I’ll share.
It’s constantly something I worry about and deal with. I think it comes from basic insecurities. I find I can be as quirky as I want to be on the internet, with the shield of anonymity. But in person I am pretty reserved and cautious.
My blog allows me to live a dual existance. But I’m trying to incorporate more of Cardiogirl in my flesh and blood life. As always I am a work in progress and I think I will be until my last breath.
That’s why I love you so much, Natural. You’re my personal cheerleader and I need some of that in my life. Thank you for all you have done and all that you’re not even aware of.
CardioGirl, well we all care, at least I think we do, but at some point we have to draw a line in the sand and not allow people to cross it.
Side bar - uh yeah I wanna know. I started reading your blog from the beginning, then I forgot where I left off then I just stayed current. I’ll have to make that my goal and go back and read every one of your entries and keep track.
I know exactly what you mean about the “dual existence”. I’ve always felt there was Valerie (the quiet shy one) then there’s is, for a lack of a better alter ego, Sasha Fierce, the one that has to go out and speak in front of crowds or the comedian, the one in the spot light. I’m a lot more interesting, I think, on paper. We’re all a work in progress or at least we should be.
Hey, thanks for letting me cheer. You’re an amazing woman Cardiogirl and I’m just glad I get to be a witness. You have not only entertained, but have taught me a great deal about myself (no I’m not crying, it’s onions :)) from reading your blog. I’m the fortunate one. Love ya!
cardiogirl´s last blog post..I thought this was common knowledge
I live my Biblical principles and care more about pleasing God than people. Of course, I like to be accepted by others, but if they think I’m a little strange, that’s okay as long as my life brings glory to God. I was never much of a people pleaser except for wanting to please my parents.
Karen, you can’t go wrong there because ultimately, He is who really matters.
Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry”´s last blog post..Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Michael and I are sympatico for sure- I beleive your values and character traits are shaped through genetics, family, friends, school, influences etc. and from there on - go girl . I am this person and proud. The world does not pay my bills, nor live my pains- sooo . “I’m the best me I can be” - free of all other outside judgment..
Sandy, good for you! Let a few people influence you, but don’t be influenced by everyone is how I feel.
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I go by these four rules,
i may not always abide by the,y but they are goals….
agreement 1
Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
agreement 2
Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
agreement 3
Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
agreement 4
Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
linky
That said. I do trust in opinions of those i trust implicitly, but that amounts to about 3 people, and their influence is usually advice reassuring me of things i already know that i want.
Charlie, these are great rules to go by. I like the don’t take anything personally, good one to remember. I also checked out the link briefly and will have to go back later. thanks for sharing.
Charlie´s last blog post..Alphabet Soup: Late Entry from Craig
I think you said it very well. We should not be so callous as to go through live without a thought as to what others think of us, but we should also not worry too much about what others think if they do not give us a fair assessment.
We have to live our lives based on our own values and morals, and if we treat others with respect and dignity then we will rarely be viewed as anything less than a person of good character by others.
I believe we are seen by others mostly as we want to be seen. If you are a kind, caring and giving person that is how you will be perceived by others. If you are a mean-spirited, cruel person then that is how you will be perceived by others. The moral - live your life according to the quality of character your judge for yourself.
Matt, I think YOU said it very well. Exactly!
Matt´s last blog post..Merry Christmas Everyone!
Hi Valerie - I generally try my best not to care what other people think. What I find most difficult is hearing that folk have told lies or gossiped about me. My ex husband has done that a lot. And I still try to keep my mouth shut and not care - but it’s difficult sometimes. And I guess I sort of got a bit of revenge when I blogged about him.
Hi Cath, it’s kind of hard to turn the other cheek when people say bad things about you, but those that really know you should be able to separate fact from fiction. This probably would bother me though if someone gossiped or told untruths…but those who know, know.
Cath Lawson´s last blog post..47 Amazing Bucket List Ideas & Resources
I really think this one depends on what portion of your life you are talking about. Some areas I care what people think and others I care not! So on this one you really have to break it down. But your topic does give one room to think after another Christmas passing.
Julia, well sure the topic could be broken down, but just in general, living by a set of values encompasses a lot..there’s no need to worry about what others think. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Julia´s last blog post..Christmas Afterward and The Apron Goddesses
Honestly, I do. But sometimes though I don’t let them get in the way. But most of the time I get affected by what others say. Can’t help it.
Bryan, well it’s hard not to let some things bother you, but it really shouldn’t be the controlling factor in your life
Bryan Karl dot Com Earning, Blogging, Tips and More´s last blog post..If You Have Nothing Good To Post, Don’t Post Anything
Val, gurl you said it all. I do care about my ‘character’ but I too don’t give a “rats….” about what people ‘think’ about me. As you stated, they usually get it wrong anyway. But its an interesting topic and I see it in a family member and it makes me very sad that they have come to believe that what other people think makes them the person that they are, could be or should be. It pains me greatly to know that this family member doesn’t give a “rats…” about what I think of them but outsiders get the respect that should be given to me. Again, it was an interesting topic. Peace - and please “think well of me”…
Under the Desk, people always get it wrong, especially if they don’t really know you. I care more what my family thinks of me more than any outsider…peace
Most people who adamantly claim they don’t care what other people think about them - actually do. They just do not want to admit it, or are not fully aware of it.
Paul, I think they do too. We all want acceptance, but we don’t have to live our life by it…not from everyone.
I probably care more than I should. I think it’s because I’ve been told I sometimes come across as snobbish, and no one believes that really I’m rather shy. I do hate that kind of misperception. But if people think I’m weird or immature or silly, that’s OK. Because I am.
JD, I know exactly what you’re talking about. A coworker, who before she got a chance to know me, said she thought I was a snob because I didn’t talk to anyone - not true - I have a bit of shyness in me until I get to know you. I like everybody. If anything, like you I’m silly - when I’m not moody. hehe.
JD at I Do Things´s last blog post..I Thought I Had a Holiday Bladder Infection (but I don’t) so you don’t have to
Honestly, I think I do care…yet, I believe I shouldn’t have since this is my life. It’s sad, but sometimes we allow society to dictate us on how to live our lives…
BTW, please collect your meme @ http://www.mystique21.com/
Happy new year! ^_^
Hi Mystique, it’s okay to care, we’re human, we have feelings we want to make other people happy, but sometimes we deserve to be happy to…not allowing people to control everything about us. Oh and I’ll be over to read them meme, but I’m probably all memed out.
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I don’t really care most of the time what folks think or say. Unless I’m feeling low and they are just adding to the crappy feeling, if I’m sick and then EVERYTHING bothers me, or if it is someone who’s opinion matters a whole lot to me. I have this theory: people who like me–stand to the right (yeah, that’s the short line) and people who don’t like me–stand to the left ( oh, the end of the line does really wrap around the corner). I think it more fun to be yourself and get people going/thinking. There are way too many sheeple out there who are afraid to say what they are thinking or make a stand for something they believe in. Life is too short for such silliness I say. Let’s have fun!
Hi Lin, right, everyone is not going to like us, but someone people spend too much time trying to be liked by everyone. Be yourself and stop trying to live up to someone’s idea of what you should be. Thanks for commenting.
hi Valerie,
Your post really got me to thinking…
What does it mean to “not give a rat’s ***”? Why that of a rat, and not some other animal? Isn’t it nice NOT to give that, for why would someone want to receive that anyway…
In all seriousness though, I will be the first to admit that I have missed out on what would probably have been fun experiences in my life because there was a chance of failure and thus embarrassment, but only embarrassment because I worried too much about what other people might think and say. Yes, I recognize my worries sometimes limit me… the tough thing is to do something about it. Perhaps if I could figure out this “rats ***” question, I could figure out how to worry less about what other people might think or say.
~ Steve, aka the pondering trade show guru
Steve, I had to laugh at that, then I did some research, I like why questions. Okay here’s why it’s a rat’s a$$ - because it rhymes. Tada. Bet you were looking for something deep, there is none. Try saying a cow’s a$$, what about a horse’s a$$, nope, just won’t work. The forming of the lips, the rhyming, along with gestures and attitude all work to emphasize a point. If that’s not right, then I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.
That’s so true and I was leaning that way about the missing out part, especially women who can’t be seen alone for fear of what others might think. It’s nice to have company when you go out, but don’t stay home just because you don’t.
Steve | Trade Show Guru´s last blog post..Chainsaw Powered B29 Model Airplane Video
I think we all care what others think to a certain extent unless you are living in your own world…alone.
It really shouldn’t matter as much as we make it out to be though. See, people will naturally hate and try to hold others down. I’ve found myself having these feelings and put myself in check.
Tom, I agree, especially to the certain extent, we would have to care, BUT, opinions don’t reflect truth, not always, so I won’t live by them.
Tom Sawyer´s last blog post..New York Yankees - The Worst Team In Sports!
You shouldnt care what people think but you should be aware of what people think
JustinSMV, people get it wrong if they don’t know you. Depending on who it is, they can keep their thoughts to themselves, unless of course I have offended them, then let me know. I care enough to apologize.
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Good question but I think it depends of the situation. I came from the Philippines and it matters to me if people or my friends tell me something like this and that. Now, that I am in the US, I don’t care and what the heck. They don’t know me and I don’t care.
hey Raquel, yeah I can agree, it depends on who is saying what. So since being in the US, you have adopted the I don’t care attitude? That’s interesting, thanks for sharing.
I think there are three separate issues here, masquerading as one.
1. Low Self-Esteem. With low self-esteem, we become people pleasers, always worrying about whether we’re good enough and doing things we don’t want to do to make others think we’re good enough. We will also feel the need to dress as they do, like what they like and act as they act, hoping that will make them like us. With high self-esteem, we don’t care so much about what they think of things like appearance.
2. Respect for Others. If we don’t have any respect for other people, then we can easily say we “don’t give a rat’s ass” what they think. However, no disrespect intended, that is a very selfish view, in my opinion. If we do respect others, then of course we care what they think about us. We listen to their opinions about us, because nobody is perfect, and they may be pointing out a very real problem. We have the self-esteem to accept legitimate, constructive criticism and to reject what doesn’t feel right to us.
3. Respect for Ourselves. If we respect ourselves, we will compromise with others on issues that might otherwise unnecessarily divide us, but we will draw the line on compromising our deepest values, some of which come from inside us and some of which are learned from our society.
Dot these were excellent answers too, I have nothing to add, thanks for leaving this thoughtful comment.
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i love this blog.. sometimes i care ,sometimes not. it depends…i follow my own..
Maricel, thanks for stopping by. There are several factors that could be considered, it depends, like many have said, on who.
We must care what other people think. This is the foundation of social network in a community. It’s too selfish if you won’t take into account what other people thinking and opinions. Caring other people bring reciprocal benefits for our life. Thats my thought.
Busby SEO, thanks for sharing your thoughts. We should care what people think because we are apart of a society, we don’t live in our own world, but at the same time, we have to draw lines, set values and not be overly persuaded by the thoughts of others. dare i say balance again.
.02
Busby SEO´s last blog post..Follow The Busby Leader
I care what some people think, but those are usually the people that I actually let have some input into my life, and I like to take all advice/opinions with a grain of salt. If I can be a better person for receiving some constructive criticism, I’m all over it, but if it’s criticism for criticism’s sake…eh, I leave it.
Your average stranger on the street’s opinion? Don’t give a crap what they think. Why bother, I’ll probably never see them again.
hi angi, that’s true. i care about what my family things of me and sure i take the advice, they may see something i don’t. i look for truth in whatever i’m told and if i can make adjustments i do…but this is so limited to people who really know me. like you said, everyone else?
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I never wanted to be that person that people pointed, whispered, and laughed at …
Because I’m really a bit too shy to handle that - yet I’ve never really aspired for the approval of others.
My parents were definite ‘outside the box’ thinkers who raised me to be true to my beliefs and values.
A tradition I’ve carried on raising my own sons.
Life is much to short to worry about the judgment of others.
I’d much rather worry if I’m living up to my own beliefs and values!
well said dawn, first check our own beliefs and values before we adopt those of others. life is too short to over worry
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Should I? Shouldn’t I? That IS the question.
I spent the first 30 years of my life worrying endlessly about what other people think of me. It drove me mad and fueled a raging self loathing.
What’s more important to me now at age (insert number here) is how I think about myself. Would I be friends with me? Yes, I would.
If I am doing my best to put my best self forward and live with integrity then
it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I aim to be a good citizen and a valuable contribution to the planet.
That said, I still care what people think. I’m human.
i agree, if you live a life of integrity, your life should speak for you. i say care up to a point, you can only do and be so much.
Christa´s last blog post..Dollars for Comments Results
I love the concept of being independent but things are not as easy as we think. The commitment we make to our worklife and family is a border for our actions.
Atniz, no it’s not easy which is why instead of focusing on too many of the details or every little thing that people can think of us, a value system would seem to work. agreed: the commitment we make should be a border for our actions, but so far, that hasn’t stopped anyone.
I DO care what other people think ! I know this doesn’t cool,but hard to change. Now i have a little bit confused, if everybody in this planet just care about themselves don’t care what other people think then what will human being become?
Maybe individually you can don’t care other people, but care about others is the foundation of the development of whole human race.
Hello CTC, what will become of the human race? I don’t know. It’s not uncool to care what people think, it’s human to care, but as mentioned some need a little more balance than others.
PS - Natural, I just wanted to let you know you’ve been tagged for a meme at my blog. Don’t hate me.
Hey Dot, I’m all memed out, don’t think I could squeeze another one out of me if I tried. I will go look though. I am at least, curious.
Dot´s last blog post..My First Meme (I’m So Proud)
As kid/teen I really cared what others thought. Probably because I was so busy hiding a huge secret. As I matured I realized that the secret wasn’t worth keeping, it wasn’t even mine but I didn’t understand that as a kid, and if someone doesn’t like me because I am a little different they can go screw themselves. And who isn’t different? But, again, that took a long time to learn.
Hey Jen, I wonder what I was like as a teen, I remember very little, guess if I really thought about it I could remember more, but not sure if I was even aware of other people way back then. I like being a little weird, nothing wrong with that.
Jen´s last blog post..I’m a Weeble
Well, I guess since we are social beings we have to find the right balance between freedom and conforming to certain rules that others have established. It’s not good to go to extremes, that’s all I can say. It’s not good when you push away people because later you realize that you feel lonely. It’s also not good to base your entire life on the opinion of others.
thanks artigos for sharing your thoughts. balance is probably the key word, i’m always looking for it myself.
I think I care about some things, but not others. My lifestyle and ideas have been “different” for a long time now - so I have had plenty of time to learn how to attract people into my space who are supportive. Happy New Year Natural!
Robin, I like that you attract people into your space are supportive, so very essential.
Robin´s last blog post..Bloggers’ Chorus Post-Christmas Post
Happy New Year!
thanks mark. i need to go get myself in an exercise frame of mine. not making resolutions, just trying to jog off cookies from 1990. have a good one.
Happy New Year!!
thank you Mamaflo. i hope you and cutie rudy and family have a healthy one.
Wishing you a happy, healthy, prosperous, and amazing 2009!
peace,
mike
livelife365
thanks mike, same to you.
Mike Foster´s last blog post..A New Year Brings New…What?
Natural, Happy New Year and I took awhile to write on this post, because I was not sure of what I wanted to say -
I am finding blogging to be a grand opening sale for me….no lie, I am getting more respect and more people reading and responding to what I say than in my lifetime before.
Now I need to say that when I taught college level classes, after the first year, my classes were full and students wanted what I had to offer more than they worried about what I look like.
I feel beautiful most of the time, but I know that people who first meet me do not feel that way at all…and very few people listen to me when they first meet me. I do not turn heads. I dress as neatly and cleanly as I can.
I recognize that my outsides give one message and that what I write and say give another message. I dearly wish that they matched up…
I am 100 pounds overweight…and even with 17.5 hours of exercise a week, the blood pressure and weight reduction does not happen with ease.
I think all the Chemo therapy I have had has changed my body so greatly it does not work as a normal traditional body would…
I have an ugly growth on my lip which has been reduced greatly over the year, but they don’t know how to remove it - it is not cancer, but it is very off putting
I have had the good fortune to be picked by an architect to be married to - he loves beauty in all - and I have given birth to two very healthy and stunningly beautiful daughters and we adopted a third child with a cleft palate who is now beautiful and working on being an adult and a good member of society. I am most proud of what wonderful people of character that they are and are becoming.
I am intense and not funny - this is not appropriate for someone heavy
I am mostly bald on top of my head….I am a female with a comb over!
I was so skinny as a child my parents were called on the carpet several times.
People give me advice all the time…they are nervous when they meet me.
I am fairly brilliant but I do not think linearly, mathematically, or analytically…I can integrate ideas so quickly it is hard for others to understand me unless I write it down.
I care what other people think….I believe my appearance and how people respond to me has greatly changed my work opportunities.
I am one awesome person, and I believe my whole life has contributed - I find so much joy in life…that is what I want other’s to catch and experience.
wow patricia, you sound like an awesome person. as i said before, most times what people THINK they know about you, they get it wrong. thanks for sharing.
Patricia´s last blog post..Sparkling Tour with Bubbly Celebrations in Mind
Happy New Year to you and yours!
thanks polly, same to you.
I would just like to wish you a Happy New Year!
All the best to you in 2009!
The Fitness Diva
thanks you too!
The Fitness Diva´s last blog post..Party Time!!
Happy New Year Natural. I wish you greatness in 2009.
I draw the line at where the criticism is coming from more so than the actual criticism. If it is someone I care about telling me something it has a lot more weight than someone who doesn’t care for me very much. In most cases people who already don’t like you are going to stomp on your character regardless of your good nature.
I surround myself with people who “keep it real” and have no problem telling me the truth. So that makes things a whole lot easier. They put things in perspective for me.
I can care little to what many folk have to say though. I’m going to do me. They are going to do them. Our hearts still beat at the end of the day… they just may not beat together.
good choice urban. draw the line at where the criticism is coming from. i keep a tight circle myself. people who don’t like you are just people who don’t know you…in most cases..i believe they stomp to the tune of envy
Urban Thought´s last blog post..Last Day of The Year
Dag nab it, I had a great response formulating while I was reading the post. Then I read the very first comment by Shelly, and my thunder was completely stolen.
I DO NOT care what other people think! I care how what I do impacts people.
It’s a matter of what I can control. I cannot control another person’s thought processes. I can control my own actions.
i know how you feel, i lose my thunder all the time and sometimes i hit a key and my comment disappears too!
that’s true also, we can’t control someone else’s thoughts, well not entirely, we can only control our actions, in the end.
A very good, thought-provoking post. Personally I REALLY don’t care what people think about me, but I also tend to be anti-social, so I don’t effect others to a great degree, anyway. When I do go out, I’m civil (at least,) if not friendly & helpful (at best,) depending on the situation. However, I WILL yell at/about bad drivers in other cars from the safety & comfort of my own. They’ll never know it, & my own stress is relieved. No harm, no foul.
Sorry for my long absence, recently. Been busy with life & holiday stuff. Best to you & yours in 2009!
hey Lana, did you always NOT care or did something happen to make you not care in a throw your hands up kind of way? i can be very anti-social myself, i turn it on or off really, so sometimes i’m in my own little world and not thinking too much about what others think of me.
a good 09 to you and yours.
Lana´s last blog post..Audubon Insectarium & Contest Result
Happy New Year to you and your family!!
Yo! girlfriend, what’s up. I hope you have a good one too. Maybe I should have put a post up on January 1 for everyone who has stopped by to wish me happiness and health too. I get health right, not just happiness? Cool. Well next year I’ll do that if I’m still around. Why am I rambling?
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post..Hello Internet!
I grew up being both an unpopular geek till I turned 14 and moved to another school in another town to one of the most popular and then again Mr Noone in yet another new place. I am both independent but crave approval. I guess all of us do even if we don’t admit it.
I have a working hypothesis that a persons consists of three aspects: what he or she thinks of himself or herself, what the other think of him or her and what he or she really is.
To this I may add are the vectors towards what we want to be, what others want us to become and where our inner feeling tells us we should go. Their misalignments can cause anguish.
hey alex and welcome. i too am independent, i like me a lot and we get along well, on most days. maybe people who don’t like themselves as much are always looking for approval from others? thanks for sharing your thoughts.
ALex Great´s last blog post..Desires and Beliefs on the Path to the Truth
sometimes i don’t care what other people think, because I have my own perspectives on my life. But c’mon we didn’t live in our world isn’t it? as far as it useful for me, i’ll think about it.
Happy new year!!! Your blog is nice, please visit my blog too.
nope, we don’t live in our own world, so then let not the world influence us…leave that for the people who know us well enough, everyone doesn’t have the privilege
Most people will always answer “i don’t care” but they actually do just by answering this question. by nature we care at least about what one person think about us by been attracted to he/she or it jajaja
i think we all care a little and like you said, at least enough to answer the question. not to be over done.
I think as a rule, that we all care more than we’d like to, about what others think and say of us. A good test is to really push the envelope of your natural wildness and then see if you give a damn about the reactions of others.
well i’m not pushing no envelopes, but i will push a few buttons from time to time
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work´s last blog post..Be Authentic and Grow Rich
Woah! Apparently this conversation strikes a nerve with some people. (of course, most of your posts do).
I really struggle with this question. I have always proudly exclaimed that I don’t care what people think, then after some self analyzing, found that everything I do I do to please someone else.
Then a wonderful thing happened - I turned 40! apparently that was a turning point for me and I decided I would live my conscience and that is the only natural authentic thing I can do.
It is a real struggle for me sometimes but I realized that people will say what people want to say, whether true or not, especially if it is negative.
So for the most part if you don’t like my values then I guess we aren’t going to be chums?!
that’s funny, a wonderful thing happened, you turned 40. well i don’t mind pleasing other people, but i do like to put a gate around the few i’m willing to serve.
you know what best for you.. don’t let people tells you what to do..
I care and take in consideration their ideas when I do not have clear decision but other conditions I do not care about their ideas..
it doesn’t hurt to listen i guess, but i won’t live by the opinions of everybody..a few opinions matter to me. thanks for sharing.